ꜰʀᴇᴇꜰᴀʟʟ | ᴍᴀᴛᴛʜᴇᴏ ʀɪᴅᴅʟᴇ & ᴛʜᴇᴏᴅᴏʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛᴛ

- 06 -

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IT HAS NOW BEEN A WEEK since we've come back to Hogwarts and I've turned 15 and neither has made me wiser nor happier.

It took me a hot second to realize how mad I was that Lucian had manipulated me. I wanted to ruin everything and smash my head in. It wasn't a good feeling.

It seems like there is no way for me to not get any trauma from family members, though at least my brothers finally feel like real family...not like Harry.

I'm not feeling any better but at least I'm not raging anymore. I'm trying my best to focus on my classes, friends and boyfriend to keep my mind off of things but at the end of the day, I'm happy to have a drink.

I also tried out a new make up idea after Pansy complimented me on it one time. Now I only walk around with smokey eyes and dark lipstick.

Everything feels so different, deranged almost. Nobody told me just how loud the silence could be. How much the buzzing in my head hurts and how empty I feel.

Suddenly a snap in front of my face pulls me out of my daydream and I focus my eyes on Blaise. Next to him I see Draco, who looks at me with the same look in his eyes. Both seem confused.

"Hey, I asked if you're okay?" Blaise asks.

I blink a few times, "I'm fine."

"You don't look fine."

"Then don't look." I sigh.

"Ror, you've barely touched your food." Draco adds.

I look down at my plate. Egg, sausage, potato, all barely taken a bite of. Right, Breakfast.

"I'm not that hungry." I shrug.

Instead of eating, I take a sip of my pumkin juice, which I spiked with some fire whiskey earlier. I only did it because today is a particular hard day. I have two classes with Harry, I have to brew a potion and I have to survive.

Fire whiskey makes that easier.

"Alright, just promise to eat something if you are." Blaise nods at me, probably awaiting me to nod back.

So I do. I nod and put a fake and tired smile on my lips.

"Good."

Then it's quiet in our corner for a while, I just hear the scratching of forkes and knives against the plates. I take another few sips.

"Alcohol works faster when there is no food in your belly." Is the thing Felix told me after we got drunk together in the Summer.

So no food means feeling good faster.

Suddenly I notice Theo and Enzo sitting down on either side of me.

"Guys, guess what." Theo muses, a big smirk on his lips.

"What?" Blaise and Draco ask simultaneously.

   "There's a party tomorrow and it's for fifth years and up, meaning we can finally go!"

   "Fuck yea, that sounds good." Draco smirks.

   "When and where is it?" I ask, finally turning my head towards him.

   "Hufflepuff common room and it starts at 8p.m."

   "Wonderful, we'll be there."

   "Amazing, see you then!" He almost yells before running off with Enzo again.