ꜰʀᴇᴇꜰᴀʟʟ | ᴍᴀᴛᴛʜᴇᴏ ʀɪᴅᴅʟᴇ & ᴛʜᴇᴏᴅᴏʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛᴛ

- 09 -

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DECEMBER. THE GLISTENING OF WHITE SNOW. The Quietness outside of the castle. The excited students roaming the castle, running around and boasting about the soon-to-come Holidays. It's the most quiet time of the year, inside and outside.

Therefore it gives all the more time to think, think about whether to go home or to stay at school and maybe face consequences.

It's a depressive time really. I haven't been feeling like myself lately, I've been slacking in my classes and neglected my friends slightly, though Blaise, Azrael and now also Theo often manage to cheer me up.

Theo really has become a comfort person. I think about him all the time and I am happier when I am with him. His presence brings a sense of warmth and safety I've been missing. I look forward to our conversations and the small but wonderful moments we share with each other.

   Despite that, I can't shake off this feeling of unease. I don't want to be dependent on him. My happiness shouldn't hinge on another person, and yet here I am, feeling a mix of comfort and dread everytime I'm near him.

   And the thing I wouldn't have guessed at all when I started dating him, is, that we haven't slept with each other. Yes, we've only been dating for a few weeks and we haven't been able to see each other much. I just think that I want our first time to be special.

I've never thought this way about anyone.

In the stillness of winter, constantly surrounded by the laughter, parties and excitement of my peers, I feel a newfound loneliness. It's ironic really, this festive season meant for joy and togetherness only fuels the emptyness within me.

I almost feel sorry for myself.

I don't fully trust myself to attend parties yet after what happened last time I accidentally stumbled across a party.

Whenever I'm with Dexter, I try my best to hide those feelings, so today, since we haven't hung out much, I decided to take him to a Quidditch practice.

Quidditch is the only thing he's been talking about lately, so I thought it might be a nice sibling thing to do for him. Take him to a practice.

   "Thanks for taking me, Rory. My friends would kill me if they knew I'd be here to watch Hufflepuff's training."

   "Well as stupid as that sounds but those are typical Slytherin's. They'll realize sooner or later that other houses aren't that bad."

   "I guess so." He shrugs.

   "Believe me, in your fourth or fifth year at latest they will realize that you don't need to have a hatred against the other houses just simply because you can."

   "I heard that Draco still hates Gryffindor."

   I let out a scoff and roll my eyes playfully at the comment, "Well yes, Draco can be a prick, yet I love him regardless, and also he just really hates Harry and everyone who associates with him in any way, which are most Gryffindors so yeah."

"He doesn't hate you, right?"

"No, he's one of my best friends, I'd die for him and vice-versa. Besides, I don't associate with Harry anymore."

"Ah okay. What does vice-versa mean?"

"That he'd do and feel the same things as me."

He furrows his brows in confusion and tips his head to the side slightly.

"In this context it means that I call him my best friend and I'd do anything for him and he calls me his best friend and would do anything for me too."