Chemical Fusion

Part 8

Finn's POV:

Eric is fucking adorable. I don't really know how else to describe him. He seems so... free, I guess? Like whatever he's feeling is fine with him, and he doesn't want to hide it. I wonder if life is easier that way, or if it's the same, and Eric is just a better, happier person than I'll ever be. Just being around him is fine with me, to be honest. He lives life in a way that makes me want to live it with him, when I used to not want to live mine at all. Not in a particularly suicidal way, mind you. My sister needs me, and besides, it's not that I don't want to be around, I just... didn't want to live that part of my life. I was waiting for it to be over so I could move on to things like this. Days like today are nice, where I get to visit my sister, and have dinner with my perfect roommate. It's great to take a little break and live life at your own pace. To take a breather sometimes, especially when you really need it. I wish I could say it isn't still a little awkward between Eric and I, but it's barely been 24 hours since I met him. And yet somehow, I think I might be able to spend all 24 hours of every day with him for the rest of my life, maybe. That sounds weird, like a marriage proposal or something, but really, I just need someone like him around to make everything less stressful, or to make things just... easier, I guess.

I glance across the table at Eric, and I didn't expect him to be gazing back at me. His gaze was soft, and sort of comforting in a way. I meet his eyes, and I half expect him to look away, but he doesn't. It's almost like a moment described in a book. Which sounds dumb, but you really don't know what that feels like until you've experienced it yourself. It felt like everything made a little more sense than before. I locked eyes with Eric, and I swear there was a moment in the air when we both thought the exact same thing. I don't know how he felt about it, but I'm sure we both had one thing to say. Something maybe neither of us would ever say aloud, or even accept, but the only thing we thought was; "Oh. I'm in love." Which, again, sounds dumb, but it felt a little exciting, and also terrifying. What now? I don't know what to do about being in love. I've had crushes, but I've never been in love. Sure, I might've had a few flings, which looking back on, were not my best decisions, but love? I have no idea.

Eric looked like he had something to say, but also like he'd rather die than say it. Which, incidentally, is the exact thing I'm feeling right now. I can't break eye contact now, and to be honest, I want this moment to last forever. But at the same time, I hoped it would end quickly. I don't want this to be as awkward as it is, but there's really no making it "normal". I hope our relationship can mean more than that, though. I want Eric to mean a lot to me, if that makes any sense. He seems like he could be exactly what I need in my life, and I could be the same for him. A perfect match. Which still sounds dumb, no matter how many times someone could explain it. I do have to wonder what Eric thinks about the whole situation. What does he want us to be? It's a little soon for anything serious, (not like we didn't already go past "serious" the other night) but he means a little too much to me already. I guess this is something you figure out "along the way".

"Eric," I start. "Do you want to try... going out somewhere this weekend?"

Eric's face reddens a little more than it already had.

"Like... um... like a date?"

I can tell he immediately wanted to take back that sentence as soon as it escaped his lips.

"Yeah." I look him straight in the eyes again. "Would you be alright with that?"

He looks away and nods, his ears turning red. I smile at him. This is a start. I don't know what we're starting, but it's the start of something, and I intend to make it something great.

Eric's POV:

Literally what just happened? I'm standing at the sink, scrubbing at the dishes absentmindedly. Finn just asked me on a fucking date. While I'm all for proper communication, this is a little forward for me. I knew as soon as we locked eyes at the table that he felt something, but I didn't actually expect him to act on it so soon. I can't complain though. This is the best-case scenario. Probably. Hopefully.

The next few days go by smoothly. I return from my classes to a home I actually look forward to coming back to, and there's someone there waiting for me to get back. While we don't exactly have a label, Finn and I are definitely close. Closer than I've been with someone in a while. Life is pretty sweet. It's fun, which is a word I never would have used to describe life before. When I come back from my classes, I'll sit down on the couch and watch TV or do homework until Finn comes home. And, when he does, I don't do anything different, it's just easier to enjoy those ordinary activities. Our "date" is scheduled for this weekend, and I'm really looking forward to it. I honestly don't care if it's romantic at all. Spending time with Finn has been the highlight of my days since I got to college, so I'm excited to go somewhere with him.

Ordinarily, I would worry whether I'm bothering someone I hang out with. But when I'm with Finn, it's surprising how much he enjoys my company. Any time he sees me, there's an obvious change in his expression, and it makes my heart feel light. I don't have to worry about not being good enough, or that he doesn't want to spend time with me. I know he does, and nothing seems to be standing in my way of keeping my life like this. It's great.

Tonight, Finn and I decided that we would watch a movie just released on the streaming platform we use, and I'm looking forward to that, too. While I enjoy movies, I really do just enjoy spending time with Finn. There's a certain safety in the way he treats me, and, while it gives me butterflies, it just makes me feel comfortable. I got really lucky when I became Finn's roommate.

Later that night, Finn and I sat down on the couch to watch the movie.

"I'll be right back," I tell Finn, starting toward the kitchen. "Let me get some popcorn while you start the movie."

I walk the ten whole feet to the kitchen, because this is still a tiny college dorm where the kitchen, living room, and dining room share the same four walls. I put a popcorn bag in the microwave and close it, starting the countdown. While it pops, I walk back into the living room and stand behind where Finn is sitting on the couch. I place my hands idly on the back of the couch, accidentally brushing the back of Finn's neck with my hands. I'm not sure if he noticed, but my face turns red. Which it does all the time. It's become at least an hourly occurrence lately. Nothing I do seems to get Finn to blush, but every move he makes seems to turn my face red. I wish I could do something to get him to blush even a little bit. Maybe I should try something during the movie.

I sit down close to Finn so he can reach the popcorn easily.

He reaches for some popcorn and asks, "How was your day today? You seem a little more... calm? Comfortable? Whatever it is, you seem a bit different today."

He's right. I barely got any sleep last night. I was so busy working on a paper for class that I didn't have time to sleep at all.

"Yeah, just a little tired," I say, stifling a yawn.

"Am I keeping you up? We can watch this another time."

"It's alright, I like hanging out with you." Maybe it's because I'm tired, but that seemed a little bold for me. I didn't bother correcting my mistake. Finn smiles crookedly.

"Cool. You're fun to hang with, too. If you need to sleep, just know my shoulder is available."

I smile back at Finn. He's so nice all the time. I wish I was anything like him.

We watch the movie in silence for a while, but at some point, I can't pay attention to it anymore. I think I might be delirious from sleep deprivation, but Finn seems even more attractive right now. I tilt my head to stare at him. He seems to notice, and he tilts his own head a little to grin at me.

"Something the matter?"

"I think I might take you up on your offer to lend me your shoulder." I yawn, and Finn answers,

"Go for it."

I shift to rest my head on one of his broad shoulders, hesitate, and tilt my head up.

"Finn."

"Yeah?" He looks down at my face.

"Kiss me goodnight."

Finn looks a little startled at this proposal. A second later, he gives me a soft smile. Then, he gives me an even softer kiss on the lips, and lightly ruffles my hair.

"Good night."

I close my eyes.

"Night."