Chemical Fusion

Part 10

Finn's POV:

As I'm practically pinning Eric to the door, it occurs to me that I might be taking this 'joke' a little too far.

"Shit, sorry-" I try to back up a little, giving him some space, but as soon as I do, Eric grabs the collar of my shirt and pulls me toward him, my face barely an inch away from his.

"Don't be sorry," Eric says. I can feel his breath on my face. My eyes fall to his lips, painfully close to mine, but too far away for my taste. Fuck. I wanna kiss him so fucking bad right now. What would happen if I did? ...What would happen if I didn't? The tension in the room is so thick you can practically see it. You know what, fuck it. He kissed me last night; I'm going to kiss him now.

I move my face forward and connect our lips. Eric immediately leans into the kiss, like he's been waiting for it. He lets go of my shirt and leans back into the door. I press him against it and take my face away from his, making eye contact. Waiting to see what he'll do next. His eyes travel back to my lips, and then to my eyes again.

"One more," he whispers, leaning forward to kiss me again. This kiss was slower and more gentle than the first.

Eric pulls his face away, leaning back against the door and looking up into my eyes. Honestly, I'd like to kiss him again, but I don't know if I should. We don't exactly have a label, me and Eric, but I refuse to accept 'friends with benefits'. It seems like Eric was thinking the same thing, because he asks;

"Finn, what... are we?"

"What do you want us to be?"

Eric goes quiet. "...I don't really know. I mean, I do- but... I don't know!"

I gently cup his face with my hands and hold his gaze. "Eric, whatever it is, just let me know. You can call the shots. If you need more time, that's alright, too."

Eric blinks at me and then nods. "Time... would be nice. But I don't want to lose whatever we have now." He lets out a frustrated sigh. "I wish I had the time to think about how to say this."

"You do," I remind him.

Eric hesitates. He stays that way for maybe three minutes, and, during those three minutes, I remove my hands from his face and lean against the wall next to him. Finally, he speaks up.

"Ok, let's try this." He takes a deep breath, but it doesn't help to steady his shaky tone. "Finn, I think I'm in love with you, but thinking you're in love with someone and knowing you're in love with someone is different. I really wish that I could say confidently that I'm in love with you, but sadly, I can't do anything confidently, least of all make up my fucking mind." He continues to ramble, and I listen quietly. "I don't want to jump straight into a relationship yet, but I don't want to stop with the intimacy that we have right now, so I'm kind of stumped. I really really like you, and being close to you is the best part of my day, so really, I should just make up my fucking mind about being in love because I obviously am, and I shouldn't be bothering you with this stupid essay right now. But I still don't want to be a hindrance, and I feel like I would be stringing you along if I were to go out with you now, because I haven't made up my mind about being in love with you yet, and I don't want to be playing with your heartstrings so idly."

He takes a deep breath again.

"Sorry," Eric says. "I know that probably didn't make sense."

I nod thoughtfully and think about his viewpoint for a moment.

I grin at him, and say; "Well then, I suppose I should just get you to fall in love with me faster." I turn to him and tilt his head up with one finger, and I can tell his breath catches in his throat.