911 fanfics

i'm always here for you (p2)

Later that very afternoon Eddie was interrupted from his game of pool by Ana and Christopher coming to the station to drop off some food for everyone. He went downstairs to greet them, followed by Buck, who was eager to see Christopher, giving him a high five. Another firefighter nearby saw Eddie kidding Ana and came over to join them.

"Brandon, this is Ana; Ana, Brandon," Eddie introduced.

"You must be Eddie's wife," Brandon said, shaking her hand.

Eddie's heart momentarily stopped at the word and he had to fight to pay attention. His brain flooded with a torrent of emotions, too many to name.

"Oh no, I'm just his girlfriend," Ana chuckled in response.

"Oh, my apologies," Brandon said. "Have you ever been to the station before? We can give you a tour."

Chris's face lit up with excitement. "Yeah, come on!" he said, dragging Ana away.

She quickly shoved the casserole dish into Eddie's hands. "Can you drop this off where it goes?" she asked, already being dragged away. Eddie didn't respond. "Eddie?"

He snapped back to attention, taking the casserole dish from Ana. "Yeah," he said quickly, and with that, Brandon, Chris, and Ana were gone down the hallway, leaving Buck and Eddie next to the firetruck.

Buck had noticed something was off about Eddie but hadn't brought it up. He turned to face Eddie, who was already gone and heading for the stairs.

"Wait up!" Buck called after him. When Eddie didn't stop or respond, Buck grew even more curious. He caught up with Eddie as he was nearly at the top step, moving on autopilot to put the casserole away, which caused him to nearly trip over the top step. Buck flung himself forward and grabbed his shoulder to keep him and the dish from tumbling, taking that from him next. That's when he noticed the fear in Eddie's eyes.

"Woah, woah, hey, what's wrong?" Buck sputtered.

Eddie wobbled as he tried to stay standing despite the dizziness and his rapid breath. He could barely make our Buck talking to him and tried to speak but wasn't entirely sure if he did. "Panic att'ck again," he gasped.

"Okay, okay," Buck reassured as he quickly set the dish on the counter and took Eddie by the shoulder. "I've got you."

He quickly guided Eddie a few doors down to his bunk room, the nearest empty room. Eddie stumbled the whole way, falling to the ground inside the small room. He clutched a hand to his chest as Buck lifted him by his shoulders and sat him against the side of the bed.

"Breathe, Eddie. In and out, follow my lead," Buck soothed. Eddie never protested, so he kept his hand firm on the panicking man's shoulder to ground him. "In through your nose, out through your mouth, good, just keep breathing."

Eddie was still gasping for air before trembling from the exhale, but much to Buck's relief his eyes were a little more relaxed. "C'nt breathe," Eddie huffed out, hand scrambling from his chest to his throat.

Buck shook his head. "But you can, you just have to keep making yourself inhale through your nose and exhale from your mouth. Follow me doing it." Buck took slow, deep breaths to set an example for Eddie, and after a minute or so he was able to take short, choppy breaths in between his gasps.

"You're doing great, Eddie, keep breathing like that." And Buck stayed just like that while Eddie's breathing slowed down to an even more normal pattern. He lowered his hand back down and leaned his head back against the mattress, closing his eyes.

"Ugh," he groaned quietly.

"There you go, how are you feeling?" Buck asked.

"Better now," he said before mumbling something about being sorry.

"No, don't be sorry. It's okay to panic sometimes. And I'm always here for you, you know that, right?"

"Mmm," Eddie hummed. He lifted his head back up and raised a knee to rest his arm on.

"Can I get you anything? Or do you need space?" Buck asked, unsure what to do next.

"Water?"

"Yeah, I'll be right back—" Buck started to get up to leave but was stopped when Eddie stiffened and made a little noise. "Or... not?" Buck asked confused.

"No, I just— I don't want to start... panicking again," Eddie said embarrassed, not used to being vulnerable or admitting to having a panic attack.

"Okay, uh, I'll text Bobby, have him bring a water bottle." Buck sat back down and after shooting the quick text to Bobby, gently placed his hand on Eddie's close knee, the one still on the floor. Then they just sat like that until Bobby arrived: Eddie being grounded by Buck's hand and Buck wishing there was more he could do to help Eddie.

Bobby arrived just over two minutes later, knocking on the door. "Buck?" he called.

"Coming," Buck called as he got up from the floor and opened the door. He thanked him and took the water bottle while Bobby's worried face started showing.

"You okay, Eddie?" he asked with concern.

"I'm fine, Cap," but he still did not look convinced.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, just... needed a minute."

"Alright, let me know if that changes or you need anything else."

Buck thanked him again and closed the door, turning back to Eddie and handing him the water bottle. He sat quietly for about a minute while Eddie slowly sipped on the water, relaxing from the stark cold.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Buck said to break the silence.

Eddie sighed and set the water down. Yes, he was thinking, I really do want to talk about it because I can't even talk to my own girlfriend about it because she IS it. But being Eddie, he said nothing and stared ahead at the wall.

"I'm not going to pressure you, but it might help."

"Brandon thought Ana was my wife," Eddie said at last. "And— I don't know, just the assumption that we're forever, that we're married.... It just sent me spiraling. God, how crappy of a boyfriend am I if I freak out at the assumption we're married."

"It doesn't make you a crappy boyfriend, it makes you human. You're allowed to not want to be seen that way or not be ready for something that serious, especially after everything you went through with Shannon and Christopher."

"God, that kid loves Ana. How am I supposed to tell him when we break up?"

"Just be honest with him. He's a smart kid, I bet he can tell if something is up." Eddie just hummed in response, so Buck moved on. "So you're really gonna break things off?"

"Yeah," Eddie said solemnly. "I need to. I can't— I can't keep lying to her or panicking at the thought of a future with her."

"I'm proud of you, Eddie."

Eddie stiffened. "Thanks, I think— I am too."

"Are you ready for us to go join everyone else again?" Buck asked. Eddie noted how he said us. Buck and Eddie. A team: there for each other to celebrate the good times and help each other through the bad times.

"Yeah," Eddie said. "I think I am." Buck offers him a hand to help him stand, and he accepts it, feeling comforted by the firm touch.

"Come in, let's see what Christopher brought," Buck said to lighten the atmosphere. But before Buck can open the door, Eddie grabs his arm and stops him.

"Buck, thank you for, you know, calming me down and everything. I'm really lucky to have you as a friend."

Buck smiles. "Anytime," he said.