George Washington Fanfiction

Le Bad News

Jeff is short for Jeffie, my birth name.

You should know, though. I'm in love with George Washington. That's why I killed Martha. I run to Valley Forge, eager to tell George the news.

When I arrive, the soldiers groan.

"There's that crazy lady, Jeff," They say, I ignore them and roll into George's cabin.

"Hiiiii Georgie." I grin widely and he sighs, putting two fingers to his temple.

"Hello Jeff," He replies.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news," I tell him, pursing my lips. "Your wife, poor thing is dead! Murdered in the middle of the night!" I exclaim. George sits up.

"Jeffie, are you serious?" He demands, and I give a sympathetic nod, hiding the smile underneath me. George lays down, covering his face with his hands.

"Oh Georgie, I have a question," I say, grasping his hand.

"Yes?"

"WHAT ARE THOOOOOOOSE?!" I scream, pointing to his shoes. I fall down, laughing impossibly hard. He does not find me as amusing.

"Jeffie, I really must be alone at the moment," George tells me. I put a finger to my chin and squint at his shoes.

"What are those?" Then, two soldiers drag me away.

"See you later, Georgie!" I yell.

At dinner, I burst through the dining tent, landing on the table and smashing all the food.

"Jeffie, why are you here?!" George questions, putting two fingers to his temple again.

"Who is this?!" The other generals question, looking at me in shock.

"MY NAME JEFF!" I scream. "So, Georgie, I have the evening planned for us. We're GOING ON A TRIP IN-"

"Ho don't do it..." George says.

"OUR FAVORITE ROCKET SHIP! SOARING THROUGH THE SKY, LITTLE EINSTEINS!"

"Oh, my god," George returns. I look at the table, and there is a small pile of peanuts on them.

"Yo, is it cool with you if I eat DEEZ NUTZ?!" I question. George makes a dismissive hand motion, and I pour all the nuts down my throat, shells and all. I burp very loud and roll over onto my back.
Ñ
Soldiers throw me out again, so I guess no rocket ship.

I sit alone by the dying fire, when my friend Brian runs up to me. His red hair is almost as red as his cheeks.

"I'm having such bad luck today!" I rolled my eyes at him and shoved him into the fire. Then, I proceeded to do the whip.

"NOW WATCH ME WHIP! WATCH ME NAENAE! WATCH ME WHIP! WHIP! WATCH ME NAENAE!" I shriek, earning states from my fans. They absolutely adore me!

A little grumpy cat walks up to me and glares.

"Kill yourself," He purrs.

"No, thank you," I reply, stepping back and punting the little grumpy cat into next week.

"KILL YOURSELLLLFFFFFF!" He meows as he disappears into the sky.