George Washington Fanfiction

Le Nasty Freestyle

"Yo, Georgie, where are we going?" I ask, jumping on his horse behind him. It's been a week since I arrived at Valley Forge.

"Trenton."

"The Hessians? Ok, you do you," I say, wrapping my arms around him. Soldiers grab me and make me walk. Those buttcheeks on sticks.

"Watch your profanity," A soldier scolds. I sigh. It's like they could read my mind. I push him into the snow and laugh my world domination laugh. Oh yes, one day George and I will rule the world.

In my mind I replay the soldier falling into the snow, face first and sing "Holla Back Girl". When we cross the Delaware, George's boat is already long gone. I swan dive into the almost frozen water and swim to his boat, pulling myself onto it.

"Wow, almost left without me, Georgie!" I exclaim, throwing my sopping arms around him. George throws me back into the water, playfully of course. I laugh and climb back up. We get to Trenton and defeat those nasty Germans. Then, a song comes to mind.

"Georgie! I need you to assemble the troops! IMMEDIATELY! IT'S AN EMERGENCY!!!" I scream at George.

"What's the emergency?" He inquires.

"I CANT TELL YOU YET!" He looks at me doubtfully and then eventually gathers the troops. I stand on top of a ledge with George and start yelling some more. "ALRIGHT EVERYONE. I'M GOING TO TEACH YOU THE WHIP SO YOU CAN WHIP LIKE ME!" George rolled his eyes as I taught the entire army how to dance.

"ALRIGHT GUYS, LETS TRY IT WITH MUSIC, HERE WE GO! SING IT WITH ME!" I shout. George hesitantly smiles and we sing together. "FIRST LET ME HOP OUT THE MF (for the kids) PORSCHE I DONT WANT HER IF DAT GRASS (ftk) DONT SIT LIKE A HORSE!" The army whips, but nobody has whipping skills par to George's. I've never seen him move like that. Man, can he whip!

Suddenly, George breaks into hip hop dancing as General Greene starts to beat box. Soon, everybody is dancing and whipping and beat boxing. George looks at me, sweaty and happy, and for a moment, it looked like he loved me too.

"I think we can call this a victory!" I yell over the sound.

"I think so too!" He shouts back.

In a half second, the crowd silences. The mob parts to create a path for the menacing, angry, and grumpier than ever grumpy cat. Grumpy cat jumps at me and scratches me, when suddenly, he is flung away. It's George with his sword! George picks up grumpy cat and I look on adoringly.

George holds up grumpy cat on the edge of the ledge, and in perfect rhythm and harmony, the army begins to sing The Circle of Life. The sun rises on Trenton and grumpy cat doesn't look so grumpy.