Taking A Chance On Love || m.t.

十二 Stress

Over the next few days, Mark worked at home to make sure I was eating and resting as I should. I spent most of that time clinging to him like a koala, my usually talkative self silent except when I was asked a question. My morning sickness didn't help matters, so I felt both sick and tired for most of each day. To his credit, Mark easily worked despite me permanently turning him into a giant teddy bear whenever he sat down. When he walked around, I always mindlessly trailed after him, his hand clutching mine to make sure I didn't end up standing in one spot the whole time. I heard him often speaking to our parents in another room when I was supposed to be sleeping, and sometimes he called and texted his group members and company about the impending lawsuit, but he never once discussed it with me, wanting to make sure I wasn't agitated by outside news.

Unbeknownst to me, the live stream that was on when I came through the door that day went viral. Many people were already screen recording, so several clips were made from it and posted everywhere by fans. Mark's company used some of those clips and added still photos from when I was attacked in the parking lot, everything except the faces of those girls blurred out to protect my privacy. The PR campaign worked, and there was a spark of outrage rippling through social media as international fans, Ahgases, other fandoms, and even some shocked users who knew nothing about K-pop came out to condemn the girls and the underlying feeling of entitlement to celebrities that was usually not spoken about in the Korean entertainment industry.

Perhaps if I had known, I would have felt joy that my concerns were finally being addressed. But since I was unaware, it was Mark, the other members, and their company who used this wave of support to press forward with their lawsuit. The parents quickly agreed to a settlement that included a public filmed and blurred apology from the girls and parents, as well as severe disciplinary action from their schools and academies that went onto their permanent student records. Mark wanted them to be prosecuted, but stopped at the behest of my parents, who knew me well enough to know that in my fragile state, I would just want the whole thing to be over. So he agreed to the settlement and made the company PR team release a statement that this was merely a warning; if I or any of the members were harassed again, the company would call for the culprits to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, including going to prison regardless of age or background.

Also unknown to me, the clips of Mark scooping me up in his arms despite knowing he'd get ketchup all over himself had also gone viral as people applauded him for prioritizing his wife rather than his image. I would have snorted if I knew, since it's no surprise that fans will trend anything remotely good about their artists, even if it was something many people would have done in that situation. His image would not have suffered, only increased. If anyone disliked his actions it would have been those who agreed with the ones who harrassed me, and their opinions were already heavily drowned out by the current wave of support.

Thankfully I didn't know any of this, instead spending my days sick and stuck in my own head as Mark and our loved ones tried to draw me out. I could tell they were worried for me, and I didn't want them to worry, so I tried my hardest to show forth a bright face over time, eventually fooling them into thinking I was back to normal.

What bothered me was less about that singular incident and more about how this would affect our quality of life going forward. I constantly stressed about whether this would happen again, and whether our children would have to face it someday. Thinking along those lines, I once again began to stress about how mixed-race, particularly half-Ghanaian, half-Taiwanese children would be treated in the seemingly modern yet still nationalist-minded country of South Korea where "their kind" wasn't a big enough part of the population to be seen as normal. I'd had enough experience with micro-aggressions, internalized racism, and generally kids being absolute filter-less jerks to know that our children were going to face a lot of malice, ignorance, curiosity, and ridicule, both covert and overt.