Larrisa is in the kitchen making kids lunch and I'm doing some work on my computer. Me and Larissa got in big fight few days after New Years Eve and we didn't talk ever since. I hate fighting with her but she needs to understand that I can't stay home because of unknown reasons. I tried to make her tell me why but she didn't so I stopped talking to her. When I finished the papers for my first leasons I went upstairs to get ready because I have an apointment with my oncologist. I put on fresh pair of underwear and put on black trousers with blaizer and heels.
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I put on a red lipstick and went down stairs. I walked into the kitchen to see Larrisa sitting with kids around our dinning table. I smilled at Laury and said " honey I'm going to the doctor like we talked. Please do your homeworks before I will be back and get ready for tomorrow we are going back to school after these holidays. Be good bye." I kissed her and the twins foreheads before going out. I got in the car and made my way to the hospital in Jericho. I was nervous like every time I'm going to my oncologist. It twelwe years since I had leukemia but I still need regular check ups. I sat down next to some old lady and she asked " honey I hope you're healty " I smilled at her and said " I hope soo it's twelwe years since I had leukemia" the lady looked at me and looked at me with understanding in her eyes. " I know how that feels I had leukemia when I was probably your age and now I'm dying because of the same thing but don't worry I feel that you are healty." I touched the lady's hand and immedietly got a vision. I saw how the woman was in hospital laying on bed with her I think husband sitting next to her. She didn't have any hair and was pale. Then I saw her few years later with hair and holding a baby but after that I saw her son get killed by tyler and her husband too. I woked up and said " I'm so sorry for your lost Maura" she looked at me and whispered " Ohh I don't feel well " after that everything went quickly I call doctor who tried to help her but she died right in front of me. I started crying and shaking so the doctor hugged me and said that it wasn't my fault and gave me a pill that will help me calm down. Thirty minutes later my oncologist called my in and did all the tests and told me " I can tell you one thing and that you are perfectly healty but you have your blood test saying you have low iron and sugar. " I looked at her confused and asked " what does that mean?" The doctor looked away and then back at me " don't worry you don't have diabetes but you should eat. Do you have some problems with eating lately?" I looked down and said " I'm currently fighting with my wife so I don't have much appetite but I can promise you that I will try to eat something every day" the doctor put her hand on my shoulder and said " Please take these " she gave me a iron pills with sleeping pills. I thanked her and asked " so the I'm still cancer free?" She smiled and nodded I thanked her and left her office. I walked outside the hospital and went back home. When I got there the twins and Laury were in the living room playing with dolls as Larrisa was sitting on the grass crying over some album. I looked at her and felt my heart sweal with sadness so I decided to go and talk to her. When kids saw me they greeted me with hug. I hugged them back and told them to go play upstairs. They listened and I walked outside. Larrisa turned around and when she realized it was me she quickly wiped her tears away and closed the album which I identified as our wedding album. I walked closer to her as tears streamed down my face. Larrisa stood up and said " honey I'm so sorry Kata I know I shouldn't yell at you the other night. Please listen to me when I say I'm just scared to let you get back to work because of the things that happened I just don't want to lose you please forgive me I love you Katarina Alianovna Weems." She was now crying again I hugged her and whispered " I'm sorry too that I trown the vase at you and that I made you sleep in your office. I forgive you but can you forgive me?" She gave me sweet kiss as her hands went around my neck. We could taste each others tears that covered our lips. As we let go of each other Larrisa looked at me with concern " honey I see it in your eyes what happened in the hospital. I sat down on the bench near us and so did Rissa. She took my hands and told me that everything is okay. I looked at our hands and told her everything that have happened today. She hugged me again while I cried quitely into her chest. I felt the urge to scream so I did again and again until my troath felt sore. Rissa picked me up and walked with me to our bedroom. She placed me down on the bed and took of my clothes and changed me into an oversized t-shirt and biker shorts. She took make up wiped from the wardrobe and took off my makeup. Ahe laid down next to me and put a blanket around me. I snuggled up to her and she put her arms around me in protective maner. She smiled at me and put Harry Potter and half blood prince on the tv knowing that it will keep me from thinking about what happened today in the hospital. The kids joined us few minutes later so we all were cuddled up in our bed. When the movie ended Larrisa went to tuck in the kids. I stayed in bed crying until Larrisa got back. She rocked me to sleep in her arms. Few hours later I woke up from a nightmare, I ran to the bathroom and broke down on the floor crying and shaking like crazy. It escalated quickly into a panic attack. I couldn't calm down my fractic breathing so in moment I screamed from pain which woke up Rissa. She immidiatly ran to me and wraped her arms around me she guided my thru my panic attack until my breathing was even. The she helped me back to bed and asked if I had a nightmare. I nodded in agreement. She kissed my forehead and gave me a glass of water and a sleeping pill the doctor gave me. I hesisted at first but Larrisa assured me that it was going to be okay. I swallowed the pill and took a sip of the water before giving the glass to Rissa. She put it back on the night stand and laid down next to me. Half an hour later the pill started working and I fell asleep in her arms again now feeling totaly numb.
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I know this one is sad but to make it little bit realistic because at the start of the book Kata had panic attacks and they can't disapear that easily so here we are. I love you all have a nice day/night 💋 💐
