Doctor Who: Surprise Holiday

Chapter 2: The Grand Germania

Clara stood by a thicket of trees, staring at the square impression left in the grass where the TARDIS had been parked earlier. Her stomach seemed to do flip-flops as her emotions bounced between fury and despair.

"Unbelievable!" Clara said as she stomped back and forth, raging at the square in the grass.

"First you abandon me in Victorian London with Madam Vastra, but at least that could be attributed to your regeneration. But noooo! Now you've bloody well done it again! That's a pattern! A pattern! No excuses this time! Of all the places you could have left me, you leave me here? Literally without even the clothes on my back? How the hell am I supposed to call you? YOU HAVE MY MOBILE IN THE TARDIS!"

As Clara paused for breath, her attention was drawn to the sound of something approaching from behind. A robotic machine rolled up and stopped. It was relatively low slung with four drive wheels per side, and it appeared to have a number of gardening implements. Thinking back, Clara recalled she had run around it in her mad dash, as it trundled along sweeping the already clean footpath while simultaneously edging the lawn on both sides.

"Can. I. Help. You?" it said haltingly in a flat tone of voice.

Clara wiped at her eyes to hide the tears that had started to form, but before she could answer, the robot took note of the flattened square.

"What. Have. We. Here?" it said, and rolled around Clara.

As it passed, she noticed "A-7054 | City of New Berlin | Parks Department" stenciled on the side. It began to vigorously vacuum and trim the area. Within a minute, she could hardly tell the TARDIS had ever been there.

The robot turned its attention back to Clara. "I. Am. Programmed. To. Respond. To. Hans." it said, and nodded its head with twin cameras for eyes in a surprisingly human gesture.

"Hello Hans," Clara replied. "I'm Clara. Clara Oswald." She paused and added. "I'm an offworlder."

"Yes. I. Know," replied the robot, sounding slightly smug to Clara. "Do. You. Require. Assistance?"

Clara sighed and looked back where the TARDIS had been. "No, I don't think there's anything you can do. Thanks."

"If. You. Require. Assistance. Ask," declared the robot. It turned away and began to roll back to the footpath to continue its cleaning task.

A realization struck Clara as the robot reached the footpath. "Hey Hans!" she called out and ran to catch up. The robot stopped and waited.

"Can you tell me where the Grand Germania is?" she asked as she brushed back a loose lock of hair.

"Oh, you're staying at the Grand?" the robot replied. "Nice place. A favorite among offworlders. My sister works there."

That was weird, Clara thought. Robots have sisters?

"It's about five kilometers north of the park on Linden Street," the robot continued.

Its entire demeanor had changed, and it no longer sounded particularly robotic.

"If you don't feel like walking, you can use your linx or an information kiosk to call a taxi, or take the U-bahn. There's a station right over there," it said, pointing with a gardening tool.

"Hang on," said Clara as she looked at the robot with narrowed eyes. "What happened to speaking one word at a time?"

The robot actually hung its head for a moment before looking back up. "I'd rather visitors think I'm just a robot, instead of a brain in a box. You know—meatware."

Clara was shocked. A shiver went down her spine. She crossed her arms and felt a chill in spite of the heat. That made this robot-thing disturbingly like a Dalek. "What happened, if you don't mind my asking?"