Doctor Who: Surprise Holiday

Chapter 3: The Ratskeller

Four blocks and around a corner, the threesome came to a flight of stairs on the side of a building leading down to the basement level.

A simple sign, "To Ratskeller" pointed the way. It was not an impressive entrance, but once they were down the stairs and through the door, it opened out into a very large, clean, well-lit open space.

In an echo of the Grand's lobby, the ceiling was a series of arches with support columns, but there the similarity ended. Where the Grand was all about elegance and grace, the Ratskeller was practical and egalitarian. Here the columns were clearly functional rather than ornamental. The ceiling, arches and columns were painted a simple white, and the walls paneled in a dark wood. At intervals around the room were gigantic wooden beer kegs easily ten feet in diameter set into the walls, but they were apparently decorative. There were a few smaller tables, but most were benches long enough to seat twelve people each.

It was still relatively early, but the Ratskeller was already busy with more people trickling in. Hans led the way to a partially occupied bench table, and with a nod of greeting they sat at one end.

"There's a menu on the wall over there," Hans said to Clara as he pointed off to one side. "But it's easier to use your linx. They do a pretty good schnitzel, but since you're new, I'd suggest the variety platter. Do you drink beer?"

"The variety platter it is, and yes I drink beer," Clara replied. "But, what's a linx?"

Hans looked thunderstruck. "You don't have linx?" he asked, incredulous.

"Offworlders usually don't," Sophie said. "Why don't you be gracious and order for Clara? I've already placed my order."

Hans' eyes flicked back and forth before refocusing on Clara. "Done," he said.

"Wait, how did you do that?" said Clara.

"Through my linx of course," replied Hans. He pointed at his eyes. "Can you see them?"

Clara leaned forward for a closer look. "Are you wearing contacts?"

Hans shrugged. "You could call them that. They do allow you to contact anyone on the planet, after all, and it's not just that. You can surf for information, send and receive messages, take pictures, and so on."

Understanding struck Clara. "Oh! You mean like smart glasses?"

"If you say so." Hans shrugged again. "Most people I know only wear 'contacts,' as you say, but we have the add-on audio feature."

He reached into one ear and pulled out something about the size of a hearing aid. "See? It's linked to our linx and allows us to talk as well as text."

"So in other words," Clara said with a laugh, "you're wearing eye-phones!" She pointed at her own eyes, a big silly grin on her face. "Get it? Eye-phones?"

Hans and Sophie looked at each other.

"Must be offworlder humor," Hans muttered to his sister as he shook his head.

Clara was rescued from this awkward moment with the arrival of their food, along with three of the largest beer mugs Clara had ever seen. Her eyes bugged out.

"Good Lord!" she exclaimed as a beer was set down before her. "I've heard of beer mugs like this, but never seen one before."

"Sorry, did you want something bigger?" Hans asked as he and his sister exchanged little smiles.

"Bigger!" exclaimed Clara. "There's bigger?"

Hans laughed. "Well, not here. For bigger, we'd have to go to the Windmill, which has a two-liter glass... oh, what do you call it? The thing that goes on your foot? Not a sandal...."