Spur of the Moment

Chapter 60

Warning: Implied child abuse/neglect

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Harry stared up at the ceiling and huffed in irritation. When Severus and Kingsley had told him that his training in duelling would be transferred mostly to Kingsley, he had been excited to be working with his surrogate brother. However, in his excitement he found himself forgetting that Kingsley was an Auror, had been for a long time, and was now Head Auror for a reason. The reason stared him in the face as he lay on his back and he could feel its mark all over his body. Honestly, Kingsley had him on his back more than Severus did. He wasn't sure if he meant the sexual innuendo or not.

"Are you going to lay there or get up?" Kingsley said, sounding amused. Harry simply turned his head and looked at the man. The Black man didn't have a single mark on him. He huffed again and returned to staring at the ceiling for the sixth time that afternoon.

"I think I'll stay here. Safer and less painful," Harry said, "or maybe less humiliating."

Kingsley chuckled and Harry scowled at the ceiling. "Come on, get up, kid."

"You're a prat and I hate you," Harry said, not moving.

"You lasted longer this time," Kingsley pointed out.

"By what? Ten seconds?"

"More like twenty."

Harry glared at him.

"I see you're paying attention to your glaring lessons from Severus," Kingsley said.

"Say that to him, I dare you," Harry said.

"No thanks," Kingsley said and Harry rolled his eyes. "Up."

"Yes, Mum," Harry said and yelped when the Stinging Hex hit his thigh. He glared at Kingsley. "Do you want me to get up or leave?"

"Just getting up is fine," Kingsley said casually and laughed again at another of Harry's glowers. "We'll take a small break," he said as Harry finally pushed himself to a sitting position. Kingsley sat next to him.

"This all seems so...insane sometimes," Harry said to the silence.

Kingsley looked at him. "What do you mean?"

"This isn't a school anymore, Kingsley. It's either a prison or a military training base. All my days are filled with is training and research and fear. I don't even remember when my main focus was on getting to class on time and finishing homework. Now I'm training for a battle I'm not even sure I'll ever be ready for. Now I'm opening a halfway house to try and protect at least some children. Now I'm terrified of letting people I care about out of my sight in case they never come back. This isn't how being a teenager is supposed to go."

The Auror didn't reply.

"I'm not sure how much more I can do or for how much longer. It seems like there's an attack a day and no matter how much research is done, a connection cannot be found. No matter how much research I do, I can't find anything to help with the horcruxes, allowing Voldemort to continue walking around immortal. I have no idea if the Deathly Hallows can help and even if they can, I don't have the Elder Wand. Everything's just so screwed up and there's no sign of it getting even remotely better. I don't know what to do anymore."

Kingsley waited a few moments before speaking. "Are you done?"

Harry nodded.

"Good. Now you listen to me," Kingsley said seriously and Harry looked at him. "True, everything is about as crazy as it can be, but there is an end in sight. It's just further away than we'd like it to be. Despite training and research seeming to be pointless, they're not. Something will come of both. I agree, you are preparing for a battle that you may never be ready to fight. However, it will happen at some point and you'll be there even if we tried to hold you back. The least we can do is let you go in with at least some material. You may not know what to do anymore but I do."