Spur of the Moment

Chapter 70

After waking from yet another nightmare in which Harry walked out of his life, Severus was grateful to see it was time to get up, but was also dreading it as it meant he had to go through the day.

He slowly got ready for the day and exited the bedroom to have breakfast with Harry in the kitchen as usual. Walking out, he saw Harry shoving things into his book bag and tossing it over his shoulder.

"Harry?" Severus said, trying to prevent his voice from cracking even as he felt his heart breaking. Was Harry leaving him? Had he offended the younger man that much? What had he even done? He couldn't lose Harry! He loved him too much!

"Severus, calm down."

Severus blinked through his anxiety. Harry was standing in front of him and, while he still looked angry, Severus could see Harry's care and concern.

"I'm not leaving you," Harry said. "I'm still angry, but I'm not leaving you. Hermione called. She's finished translating the book for the most part and wants me to see it. I also think we could use time apart. I'll be at Grimmauld Place if you need me."

Severus nodded, but kept staring at his young lover.

Harry gave him a small smile and kissed his cheek. "I still love you. I'll see you later."

Severus watched as Harry stepped into the fireplace. "I love you," he said just before Harry released the Floo Powder.

Harry smiled. "I know. Bye." He disappeared in a swirl of green flames.

Severus stared at the fireplace for a long time before deciding to take a walk. Maybe he could figure out what had made Harry angry. He walked from their rooms and headed up from the dungeons and outside. For being the end of March, it was a very warm day that was easily melting the remaining patches of snow. He shoved his hands in his pockets and travelled around the school grounds.

He knew it had something to do with what he had said last night, but what? He hadn't said anything they hadn't already known. They knew he would probably die. They knew he had done his job for the war. He was no longer a spy so he just had to help Harry in the final battle and then he was done. Any protection would be worthless on him.

"Maybe I'm not worth it," Harry had said.

Why would he say he wasn't worth it? Worth what? Protection? Knowledge? Love? Help? What was the last thing he had said before Harry had gotten angry?

"I am not worth the extra protection he may have."

"What is there to save?"

"I don't understand why you're upset."

"Because you're a complete idiot."

Severus spun around, his wand in hand, only to see Kingsley standing a little ways behind him. He had his arms cross, an eyebrow raised, and a smirk on his face.

"I don't think cursing me will help Harry forgive you," Kingsley said, walking closer.

Severus glared and dropped his wand. "What do you know about it?"

"Everything actually. Harry came to me during the night and told me the two of you had fought. He was nearly in tears," Kingsley said. "You really don't get it, do you?"

"Get what? I don't understand what I said that was so offensive," Severus said, frustrated.

"Sometimes I wonder how two people who are as emotionally stunted as the two of you manage to be together," Kingsley mused casually and Severus growled. Kingsley chuckled. "Look, you didn't say anything offensive. You just said something stupid."