I stood in the doorway of our rented AirBnB, my lavender-painted sanctuary just miles away, feeling like I was stuck in some bizarre dream. I should've been celebrating our anniversary in October 2021, right? Instead, my heart felt like it was made of lead, heavy and thudding painfully in my chest. Mizo stood before me, a striking figure with his dark brown eyes boring into mine. But there was something off, that familiar mix of anger and indifference. Honestly, if I had a dollar for every time I saw that look—maybe I could finally afford my own place.
"Why did you do this, Mizo? Why are you watching porn again?" I managed to whisper, though it felt like I was uncovering a monster under the bed instead of just bringing up a very relatable topic.
He stared at me, unfazed, his expression as flat as a sheet of paper. "I don't know what you're talking about. I was busy editing the series I'm working on."
His monotone voice felt like ice water thrown in my face. Let's be real: I wasn't born yesterday. I could smell the misplaced confidence and tangled excuses from a mile away, and guess what? He wasn't the only creative in the room. I was the queen of PR and social media management; I knew a good distraction when I saw one. But those deleted browser histories? Yeah, they burned worse than my morning coffee.
"Really, Mizo? Editing? Because I didn't know porn was part of your creative process." Sarcasm dripped from my words, and I cringed internally. Why was I even engaging in this? It was like trying to reason with a brick wall that fancied itself a majestic fortress.
With a faint flicker of irritation in his eyes, he retorted, "You're always so quick to say sorry."
A chuckle escaped me, but it was bitter. "And yet I'm always the one to apologize, aren't I?"
Sadness mixed with frustration danced through me like an old, bad song I couldn't shake off. "But what's behind those words, Mizo? What's behind that mask of apathy?" I genuinely wanted to know—and maybe a part of me yearned for an answer that didn't feel fabricated.
For a moment, I saw that flicker again—was it guilt? Regret? Nah, probably just the reflection of what I hoped to find. He looked away, as if the authenticity of the moment was too much for him to handle.
"I'm sorry." It was so quiet, I almost missed it. His monotone, however, made it feel less like a heartfelt apology and more like a statement he recited on cue. "I know I've been distant. I just... don't know what's going on."
"Seriously? Am I the only one here with a pulse?" I thought, but I couldn't say it aloud. Anger surged through me at his apparent obliviousness, and resentment gnawed at my heart—more like a pitbull than a puppy.
"I'm worn out from being the one to clean up your messes," I said, my voice cracking under the weight of raw honesty. "I'm tired of being the bigger person when you don't even seem to care."
Mizo's gaze snapped back to mine, and for a fleeting heartbeat, it felt like he might actually get it. That glimmer of possibility vanished faster than my weekend plans.
"I don't know what you want from me," he sighed, resignation painted on his face like a masterpiece gone wrong.
I inhaled deeply, half-ready to launch into a new monologue about love, honesty, and presence. But my heart was heavy enough as it was. "I want you to love me for who I am, without conditions or expectations. I want honesty—no excuses, no apologies. Just be here with me, Mizo. Just be present."
That silence, oh, it was deafening, like a vacuum sucking away every ounce of hope from the room. The words felt like a lead weight dropping between us—no special effects, just a heavy, inevitable truth sinking into the cold, hard ground of our relationship.
How had we gotten here? I questioned as confusion swirled within me. Was the Mizo I knew just a figment of my imagination? Was he truly the man I fell for, or had I been the one drawing the outlines while he filled them in with shadows? And funny enough, as I pondered over these questions, I could feel an ember of resentment flickering to life. The truth about us lay tangled in the pages that were yet to be revealed—what a plot twist that would be.
Still standing in that doorway, the world outside felt so distant, like I was teetering on the edge of a cliff, wondering if I was ready to jump. Regardless of the outcome, one thing was sure: I was wrestling with not just my heart, but my very sense of reality. What a ride this was turning out to be.
Little did I know that the truth of it all, the real reason we were on this tumultuous path, would soon surface like a hidden icebreaker, reminding me that sometimes, the past leaves scars that take longer to heal than the heart.
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Unveiled Desires: A Journey Through Love's Labyrinth
Non-FictionLove, a powerful force that binds two souls, came crashing down on me like a tidal wave. It was no longer just a feeling, but a verb, a doing word that demanded action. In the wake of this heartbreaking revelation, two lives, built on dreams, hopes...