Mistress Therapy

Twelve - Jealousy

Heidi

I can't believe I just embarrassed myself in front of Nathan again. Why can’t I go a single night without messing up? But why am I even bothered by it? Lately, I've been so confused. From talking to him about Cupid and his wife, to the moment in the elevator when he pressed close to me, and then that hug.

Now, his compliments make me blush, and I’m constantly battling with myself. I hate how much he affects me, how self-conscious I get around him, and how he’s all I’ve thought about this past week.

Calvin didn’t mention we’d be having dinner with Jacqueline and Nate. When I saw him, his striking face left me breathless, and being close enough to catch the scent of his musky cologne made me feel almost dizzy. Why is this happening? He’s my patient, and he’s married! “This is so frustrating,” I whispered to myself in the bathroom.

Just then, Jacqueline walked in, startling me. Even though she couldn’t read my mind, I felt a wave of guilt. “Oh, Ms. Heidi, what happened to your dress?” she asked, concerned.

“Just spilled some water, it’s fine,” I reassured her.

“Oh, okay. Sorry about that,” she replied. Then she hesitated before continuing, “Heidi, I have a question.”
I listened as she spoke. “I think I’m starting to warm up to Nate, but he’s still a bit awkward with me. And my parents want us to have a child. Do you think it’s too soon for that?”

A pang of jealousy hit me. Jealousy? Why? “Uh, uhm…” I stammered as she waited, expecting me to say something.

“Just talk to Nate about it,” I finally said. “You’re married, after all. Having kids is something you both need to discuss. It’s not really my place to say.”

“I hope that helps,” I added, watching her smile in response.

"You're right, I’ll talk to him," Jacqueline said.

"Thank you, Heidi," she added before leaving the bathroom after fixing her dress. I watched her through the mirror as she walked away.

She was stunning—her beauty and grace far surpassed my own, and I felt a pang of jealousy. I’d never experienced such feelings before, and I wasn’t sure how to handle them.

"She’s beautiful; it’s no wonder Nate married her," I muttered to my reflection, then washed my hands before joining them.

“You took a while,” Calvin said with a smile as I sat down.

“Sorry,” I replied, and the attendants began serving dinner.

“So, Heidi, tell us more about yourself,” Jacqueline prompted, and all three of them turned their attention to me.

I avoided eye contact with Nate, my cheeks growing hotter with each glance he threw my way.
“Well, I’m twenty-seven and have two sisters. My father is Chinese, and my mother is American. I was born here. I graduated college at twenty-three and started working two years ago. I like to think I get along well with people. When I’m not at work, I’m either watching a movie or reading a book. Oh, and I’m allergic to avocados, which is kind of odd,” I said awkwardly, while they listened.

“Hey, Nate is allergic too!” Calvin noted.

“Right, he mentioned it a few weeks ago. That’s cool,” I murmured.

“You sound pretty interesting, Heidi. Let’s be friends!” Jacqueline said with enthusiasm. I gave her a polite, albeit forced, smile.

“So, have you ever needed therapy yourself?” Nate asked. I forced myself to look at him.

“No, I haven’t. And I don’t plan to,” I replied, to which he smirked.

“Strong mentality; I like that,” Calvin said.

A strong mentality, huh? I keep thinking about a married man—maybe I do need therapy. Or a psychiatrist.

“So, Calvin, you and Nate go way back, I suppose?” Jacqueline asked, her fork and knife struggling with her steak.

“Yeah, we’ve been friends for about seventeen years,” Calvin replied. I listened but soon found my attention drawn to Nate and Jacqueline.

Nathan took Jacqueline’s plate and began cutting her steak for her. Her cheeks flushed a rosy pink as she glanced at him with a shy smile. I felt a pang of frustration and turned my gaze away.

I really do need therapy.
“Nathan hasn’t changed at all. He’s still the same, even after all this time. I’m surprised he got married. He didn’t date anyone in college,” Calvin said, glancing at me as he spoke.

My eyes met Nathan’s for a moment, and in my discomfort, I took a hasty sip of wine, nearly emptying my glass.

“Slow down, Heidi, it’s alcoholic,” Calvin whispered with a hint of concern. I managed a small, sheepish smile in response.

Jacqueline then rested her hand on Nathan’s shoulder, her fingers lingering as she smiled up at him with admiration. Watching them, my jealousy rose uncontrollably. I shifted my focus back to Calvin, desperate to distract myself.

“Do you like the food?” I asked him, forcing a smile. He nodded, seemingly absorbed in his own thoughts.

“So, you two are in a relationship?” Nathan asked abruptly, his tone lacking warmth.

“We’re getting there,” Calvin answered cryptically. I stared at my manicured nails, feeling confused and shy.

“That’s great. Keep us posted,” Jacqueline said with a playful tone.

“Shouldn’t you two give us some good news first? I want to be an uncle soon,” Calvin added, causing a noticeable pause around the table.

An awkward silence followed, and Nathan’s response did nothing to alleviate the jealousy in my chest.

“We’ll get to that,” Nathan said tersely. I felt frustrated, knowing I had no right to feel this way, yet unable to shake the feeling.
“A toast, to new beginnings,” Calvin said, raising his glass with a bright smile. I reluctantly lifted my own glass, trying to smile despite the tension.

As we clinked glasses, Nathan’s intense gaze lingered on me, sending an unexpected shiver down my spine.

When it was finally time to leave, Nathan and Calvin headed out to get their cars, while Jacqueline and I remained behind. Jacqueline suddenly linked her arm with mine, startling me with the unexpected gesture.

“Calvin likes you so much!” she exclaimed with a burst of excitement, leaving me momentarily speechless.

“I’m sorry if I’m being nosy, but do you like him too? I just love love!” she added with enthusiasm.

Before I could muster a response, the cars pulled up, and both men came forward, bringing an end to the conversation.