Addict. (Niam) ON HOLD

Chapter 15 - Two Months Already?

OBM - James McKay POV 2 months later

+ some mentions of self-harm, may trigger some - mild sexual situation, no explicit scenes +

My lips moved against his roughly, hungrily. He responded eagerly, gently nipping my bottom lip, asking for entrance. I teased him, keeping my lips sealed as they moved in time with his. He grunted impatiently, nudging me softly, I smirk and finally allow him to enter my mouth. His tongue slips in smoothly, there was no mistaking we were familiar with each other.

His tongue tangled with mine as his hands began to travel from my brown hair to the hairs on the back of my neck, gently tugging at the baby hairs that refused to grow. He knows all of my weaknesses. I let out a reluctant moan of desire at his action and my hands grip his thighs, which are wrapped tightly around my waist, with a new eagerness.  

I slowly take my weight off of the door we were leaning on and walk towards my twin bed at the far end of the room, careful not to trip over his guitar which he always leaves laying around, our lips never losing contact. I lay him down before crawling on top of him, careful not to hurt him.

He reaches to my ear to twirl my earring around with his index finger and thumb with one hand while the other travels down my chest and tugs at the waistband of my jeans. I respond to his silent request eagerly and tug his shirt over his head in a swift motion. He automatically stops touching me and pulls away from our kiss. His hands cover his lower torso and he curls into a ball beneath me. I frown and sit back.

"Ni, baby. I love you for who you are. Please, don't be ashamed of yourself?" I question quietly.

Niall is fragile, about his torso. In one of his fits near the beginning of his treatment, he cut himself. He said I made it seem like it was a solution. The moment those words left his mouth, I vomited. I hated myself for making him feel that way. I hated that I had caused him pain, even self-inflicted.

Yes, I used to cut. Cocaine and razor blades go well together. Back when I was at my lowest I used the habit to escape and it was euphoric, but at OBM I have learned that I don't need that and that I truly am worthy of better. I have healed, I believe and I can't wait for Ni to join me.

I didn't notice the cuts at first, he had been using a knife he snuck from the dining hall and it was before we got together, but it left scars none-the-less. I only found out because the air conditioning broke one night and he slept shirtless, I woke up first and I didn't wake up to a nice view.

Seventeen. Seventeen scars litter his lower stomach, just above the waistband of his jeans but hidden by his shirts. 

He hasn't cut since I found out, although that may be because I told him about my reasons, how they were because of my drug use and depression, not complements to the buzz.

His sparkling blue eyes meet mine for a moment, watering slightly. Shame shrouds his gaze but I can see that he appreciates my words. 

To thank me he rolls back over and drags my lips back to his. I lean over him again and gently trace the puckered lines running over his skin. He shivers at my touch.

We quickly resume where we left off. He rolls us over so that he is on top and moves his kisses to my neck, slowly sucking on the vulnerable skin there. I squirm beneath his hot breath and he tugs off my shirt. 

We are just getting excited when the bell for dinner chimes. Niall and I have had sex, just to clarify. Neither of us were beginners, he admitted to me that while he was abusing he led a very loose life and he even lost his homosexual virginity one night in his stupor. He also told me that he regretted that almost above everything, he didn't even know the lad's name.

I don't judge his past though, I never really had many opportunities to explore but I did have one boyfriend before the news of my sexuality got out at school. We were happy until I was outed... and he wasn't. So that ended that.

We don't talk about the outside world that much, we talk about each other a lot. About how I healed and how he is healing. Niall is set to check out of OBM in three weeks, with supervision. And, as I was cleared almost 3 months ago, I am qualified. I don't have to worry about facing the outside,but I know Niall is terrified, and I don't blame him. We don't know how his absence has been published, of anyone has told the tabloids about his rehabilitation or if he is "on an extended vacation."

I think what scares him most is the people he will go back to. I never have to face my bullies again but Niall works, even lives, with some of his aggressors. He fears his band mates' reactions and the state of the band's management. He even once told me that he feared they had continued their works as if he didn't exist, despite "Simon's" (whoever that is) promises. 

He knows I will be there and that I will never leave. He knows I love him and he knows I will support him and that we will make it through the storm together.

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Hi everybody. I truly am sorry of the long wait but I do have excuses (if any of you care.) I was on springbreak in Japan and China for two weeks and prom was last weekend. So three crazy busy weeks and I had no time to write. I truly am sorry and I hope everyone understands. 

I need things to read. so I would like to take this time to ask if anyone has any suggestions. I read: Narry Larry and Ziall and absolutely NO cat crossbreed things or m-preg. I just don't really like them, lots of respect to the writers though. 

Any way. Comment reading suggestions below and next time I will post my favorites! If you write, Don't be afraid to mention your own story!

Thanks loves, 

Comment and Vote PLEASE!