Zutara mini series

Chapter Seven

Three years after the historic event of the end of the war things were moving slowly towards a better place. The Fire Nation was starting to get better publicity as Zuko made many changes in the way he ruled. People weren't scared of their ruler and all the ambassadors were happy and excited to visit him. Making new peace treaties and cooperating to make their world better. Zuko was always glad to have the Ambassadors in his home, letting them stay in the best guest houses, preparing food from their hometowns and committing to their traditions. Through the years he had learned a lot of stuff about the nationalities. Yet there was always something special when a blue-wearing Ambassador arrived in his port and came running at full speed at him before tackling him into a hug. And he reciprocated her hug with delight every time, burying his hand in her hair that now she wore in loose waves and tightening his other arm around her waist as he buried his head at her neck, letting the familiar scent wash over him.

She had grown a lot in the past years. She was lovable in her Tribe and people treated her like royalty, as they should. Master Katara's reputation was worldwide known, her legendary story had inspired a lot of young female water benders to start bending besides healing, letting their full potential unleash. She started teaching them everything except blood bending, she got so scared every time she tried using this technique. Scared of the control she had and how fragile human life seemed.

When Zuko sent her a letter as usual about their annual meeting with the rest of the gang, she had decided to visit him earlier than anticipated as she had deeply missed him. So the next few days were spent taking long walks through the castle while catching up, playing Pai So with the wrong rules because they couldn't find themselves interested enough to play in the right way. Spending time together was everything to Zuko, as he counted the minutes trying to predict when she would barge into his office and steal him away from his work.

His mind was never at peace. He even turned to his father for advice and he dreaded that he would turn into him. He doubted his every move, his every decision. It was all very tiring and he was losing precious hours of sleep and free time from his schedule. But when she was near him he felt calmer and more balanced, more confident. Nightmares were a familiar concept to him as they plagued him every night. Only this time there was something different.

There was a distinct comforting "shhh". He felt his hair being stroked. Everything fell like a curtain, he watched as his father's face rippled and disappeared into an abyss. He doesn't even know if he's even real anymore. The screaming is still there and he believes he's dead, trying to protect the ones he loves from his worst nightmare.

"Zuko"

What was that? His mother, who he missed so? It was so fleeting. …such a soothing sound. It stopped. He was back and felt like he was drowning in the darkness.
"ZUKO"

Again? Perhaps it's an angel. He's surely dead. He couldn't breathe. Suddenly a song drifted to his ears. He's vaguely aware of the screaming stopping. On some level he knew that the awful sound was him, fighting for his life in his dreams.

He was enveloped in a loving embrace. His head is cradled in her lap and she's stroking his hair to soothe him singing a tune he didn't recognise in a language he didn't know. Something about that unfamiliarity was so comforting. Because he wanted to be anywhere but here, in the Fire Nation. Her song transported him to the South without the necessity for a parka or over a week on a ship. The cold winters and the ice almost touching his skin.

Despite it not being like anything he grew up with, it felt like home. Not what his 'home' had been but that intangible feeling of warmth and comfort and love that others associate 'home' with, something he didn't have in his childhood.

He cries.

"It's okay," she rests her forehead on his. He holds onto her shoulders to stay upright. She is the only thing at the moment that is keeping him sane. He's gripping so tight she thinks it'll bruise but she says nothing. Her pain is nothing compared to what he's going through.

He is starting to calm down, his grip begins to loosen and he starts to whisper, over and over, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry", as she pulls him into a stronger embrace, stroking his back and repeating the mantra "It's okay".

Or at least it would be. Unlike the times before when he'd have the nightmare, she was there, pulling him out of it before something terrible happened. "You want to talk about it?"

He shakes his head. His throat is raw. Fatigue clouds his mind and he feels his muscles melt under her touch, his mind calming down as he falls into a deep slumber that was very much needed. And she just lets him, because it gives her the chance to be closer to him at a level she wasn't allowed to yet one she craved. She'd tell him the next day that his guards had been trying to wake him when she'd run in. He'd been clutching at his neck, screaming deafeningly, scaring the whole castle.

"Would you like me to stay?" He simply nods. She's lit by the moonbeams that slip through his window. She looks tired and concerned, blue eyes filled with an expression he doesn't recognise. She looks beautiful as the moon lights up her face in a soft light, making her look like an ethereal being.

"Okay."

And she does stay, trying to convince herself that this means nothing. That it is a one-night thing and that he needs her. Pushing down her greediness she stays with him. She wears a light blue nightgown and slips under the sheets of his bed, holding them up so he can crawl back under. He notes to himself that the red satiny sheets look like blood in this lighting and he decides that he'll get new ones commissioned tomorrow.

She's half propped up on an elbow with a gentle, sympathetic smile. Or perhaps it's an emphatic smile… he wonders how many times such a beautiful, kind and loving soul has woken from her dreams screaming. Because he was sure that the war plagued her the way it plagued him.

He decides that he would hate to know. He lies down and she shuffles a little closer. He slips into her arms and places his head on her chest, as her steady heartbeat lolls him to sleep. This becomes his favorite place in the world and he wants to spend the rest of his life sleeping in her arms or having her in his arms or just having her in his bed, next to him.

He felt her finger in his hair. He had decided to keep them at a medium-short length. The way he had them when he joined the Avatar's cause. To him, it symbolized a time when he was at his happiest and his true self was emerging. To his nation, it seemed like a rebellious act and a symbol of change as he separated himself from his ancestors.