My mother told me one day
She's tired of my sad songs
But loving you has only
Made me cry twice or so
Peter somehow was more sad once he got with Steve than before, which he didn't think such about. His aunt told him to stop playing his sad music so loud in the shower or whenever he was trying to do his homework. Ever since He confessed and got into a relationship with the super soldier he has felt like he was in his own unrequited love trope, but that couldn't be the case. Right? He spent every night smiling at his and Steve's texts sobbing uncontrollably, but they were ok. Right?
The day that I said I loved you
You didn't say it in return
That was the day I realized
That silence is actually hurt
Peter was the one in the relationship to get the other gifts and celebrate those stupid little anniversaries while Steve was the one to apologize for not getting Peter anything, ever. He only got Peter a teddy bear at a fair all while seeming upset that he actually won Peter anything from the stupid game that Peter had begged him to play for a prize. One night while laying in bed together he finally said the words " i love you" to Steve while he just looked at him for a moment and turned over and cut off the light saying goodnight.
And I am done changing words
Just so my songs sound prettier
I just don't care if it hurts
'Cause it hurts me too
Peter had begun to grow tired of trying to sound sweet to Steve just so he wouldn't get offended, Steve had texted him to ask if he could stop by the store on his way to Steve's apartment and Peter told him he wasn't coming over today that he was busy. Steve asked him if it could wait one night and he said no, "you're just going to fuck me and expect me to be gone before you get up in the morning". Peter had grown tired of this constant in his life and he just snapped. He didn't regret what he said though. Shortly after he sent that message to Steve he didn't get a text back for hours, so he went on about his evening sending emails and such to people from work before his phone pinged, Steve sent him a message asking if he could come see him and that he wanted to talk, Peter said sure and that he'll be waiting.
I hate that feeling at night
When I thought my eyes were closed
But they were open the whole time
It was just too dark to know
Two hours had gone by and Peter was anxiously waiting for a knock on the door or anything to signify that Steve was finally at his apartment. He decided that in the meantime of him anticipating Steve he was going to take a bath, in the dark. Ever since Peter was young he hated the dark but in recent years he became one with the dark and what was lurking in it. So he sat down in his scalding hot bath and held himself. He held his eyes open imagining that they were closed because of the darkness. He Got out of the bath after about 20 minutes and got redressed. He sat at his dining room table before he heard a knock at his door.
And what am I 'posed to do when
My dad cries in front of me?
Do I just close my eyes and
Pretend like I didn't see?
Everything Steve does reminds Peter of his dad. Peter's dad always cried when he and his mother argued, then he apologized. The only problem Peter had with the crying from his dad is that it was a never ending cycle. When he was little he always felt bad for his dad, as he grew up he started to ignore his crying fits, but they always swayed his mother. A part of Peter felt relieved when his aunt came to his house one dark evening and told him he would be staying with her and uncle Ben for a while. As Peter slowly walked to his door he got on the tip of his toes to peep out of the peephole, seeing Steve with red eyes, but he told himself don't let his face get to you, as it always did. He undid the locks and opened the door, Steve perked up like a golden retriever, Peter opened the door and went to the side of the doorframe to let Steve inside. Steve walked inside and sat down on the couch looking anywhere but Peter. Peter stood in front of him and crossed his arms. "So what? What do you need to say Steve?" Peter looked at Steve expectantly "I'm sorry Peter, I really am." Steve said, looking at Peter with tears in his eyes. "No. You are not sorry, and you never will be." Peter fired back.
And I am done changing words just so my songs sounds prettier
I just don't care if it hurts cause it hurts me too
"It's okay, Steve, really it is." Peter said "I can't do this anymore and neither can you, I love you and you don't love me." Peter said, looking Steve dead in his eyes. "Let's just end this, please leave my house and don't contact me, at least until I'm ready." Peter said by the door now "I will always love you, I know you're probably hurting right now, but i just want you to know, it hurts me too."
