who is...she?

fifteen

NO ONE POV

weeks passed, and the rhythm of their lives began to shift into something new. alexia and her girlfriend had started to find a fragile balance, though each day still carried the weight of what had happened. the world outside their small home seemed distant, as if it belonged to someone else, but inside, they were beginning to learn how to coexist with the plan.

GIRLFRIEND POV

i watched alexia with a quiet concern as she moved throughout the kitchen, her movements slow and deliberate. she had insisted on making us dinner tonight, a small step toward reclaiming a sense or normalcy. i didn't argue, though i hovered close, ready to help if she needed it. 

"are you sure you don't want me to chop those?" i asked, nodding towards the vegetables she was carefully slicing.

alexia shook her head, a tiny smile tugging at her lips. "i've got it. you've been doing all the cooking lately. it's my turn bonita"

i returned the smile, though it didn't quite reach my eyes. i knew this was her way of trying to regain control, of finding something familiar to hold on to. but the fear of her getting hurt, even by something as mundane as a kitchen knife, gnawed at me.

we ate in relative silence, the clicking of silverware the only sound between us. i could see the effort it took for alexia to be present, to push past these memories that haunted her. she still jumped at sudden noises, only could hold my hand or let me rub small circles on her back, and there were moments when i could see her mind drifting somewhere dark. but there were also moments when she seemed more like herself- like the way she would absentmindedly tap her fingers on the table, a habit she'd had for as long as i'd known her.

after dinner, we settled on the couch, a soft blanket draped over my body as alexia curled up in her hoodie. the TV was on, though neither of us were really watching it. it was just background noise, something to fill the silence that loomed over us.

"do you remember our first date?" alexia asked suddenly, her voice quiet

i turned to her, surprised. "of course i do. how could i forget?"

she smiled a little, her eyes distant as she recalled the memory. "we went to that little cafe down the street, the one with the terrible coffee but amazing pie. you were so nervous"

i chuckled, the sound lightening the atmosphere a bit. "i was. i was afraid you wouldn't like me"

"i liked you the first ever moment i laid my eyes on you" alexia said, turning to look at me. her gaze was steady, and for a moment, the shadows that usually clouded her eyes were gone. "i still do"

my heart swelled with emotion. i reached out, gently brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "i love you ale. and i'll be here for as long as you need me"

tears welled up in alexia's eyes, and for a moment, i was worried i had said the wrong thing. but then, she moved closer to me, wrapping her strong arms around my waist, resting her head on my shoulder. "i'm really scared bonita" she whispered, her voice trembling. i wrapped my arms around her shoulders and rubbed circles on her back. "what if i never feel like myself again?"

i tightened my grip around her shoulders, my voice soft but firm. "you will. its going to take time, but i believe in you. and until you're ready to believe it too, i'll believe it enough for both of us"

alexia let out a shaky breath, her body relaxing against mine. "thank you" she murmured, her voice barely audible. 

we sat like that for a long time, the world outside fading into the background. for the first time since the assault, i could tell she felt a small sense of peace. it wasn't much, just a flicker of light in the darkness, but it was there, and that was enough for now.

i held her close, my heart aching with love and sadness. i knew there would be more hard days ahead, that the road to healing was long and uncertain. but i also knew that they were stronger together, and that with time, patience, and love, they would find their way through the darkness.

as the night deepened, and the quiet of their home wrapped around them like a comforting blanket, i whispered words of reassurance into alexia's hair until she fell into a soft slumber. we didn't have all the answers, and we didn't need to. all that mattered was that we had each other, and in the quiet, that was enough.

as the night came to an end, i stood up from the couch, holding onto alexias like a baby as i carried her up the stairs into our shared bedroom. i walked over to her side of the bed and gently placed her down, lightly placing the covers over her. i kissed her forehead before standing up, making my way over to the door, where i would head downstairs to the couch for the night, before alexia spoke quietly.

"please stay with me here tonight bonita" she spoke with a groggy voice.

"are you sure?" i asked, making sure she wasn't going to regret this in the morning where she would most likely awake tangled in my arms.

"please" she whispered, before turning over and holding the covers up for me. i gave in and walked over to the bed, where i lay my body down next to alexias. she instantly brought her body as close to mine as she could, holding onto me as if i would disappear overnight. i lightly kissed her forehead and she snuggled into my chest.

"goodnight baby girl, i love you." i whispered

"i love you too" she whispered as she fell into a deep sleep.

i love you too. the four words i've patiently been waiting to hear for a while.

we are making progress.