who is...she?

seventeen

ALEXIA POV

we hadn't spoken since that night. the argument replayed in my mind on an endless loop, a constant reminder of how everything had spiraled out of control. i used to think we were unbreakable, that nothing could come between us. but now, as i sat in our favorite coffee shop, the place where we shared so many laughs and secrets, the silence between us felt like a chasm that i didn't know how to cross.

i spotted her the moment she walked in. even now, after everything, my heart skipped a beat when i saw her. she looked tired, like she hadn't slept much either, and it made me wonder if she was thinking about me as much as i was thinking about her. but then she saw me, and her expression hardened. i quickly looked away, pretending to be engrossed in the book i wasn't really reading. my eyes traced the words on the page, but i couldn't focus. all icould think about was her.

i hadn't expected things to get this bad. the argument had started over something small, insignificant really. but it quickly escalated into a full-blown fight, with words flying out of our mouths faster than we could take them back. i had said things i didn't mean, and i knew she had too, but the damage was done. we both retreated into our own corners, too hurt and too proud to reach out first.

i wondered if she hated me now. the thought made my chest tighten, and i forced myself to take a deep breath. i didn't want to hate her, and i didn't want her to hate me. but every time i thought about reaching out, my hands would shake, and i'd lose my nerve. i was scared—scared of what she might say, scared that she wouldn't want to fix things, scared that maybe she was better off without me.

she took a seat at a table on the other side of the room, facing away from me. it was like she was purposely avoiding me, making sure we wouldn't have to interact. it hurt, more than i wanted to admit. i wanted to go over to her, to apologize, to make things right, but my feet felt like they were glued to the floor. instead, i sat there, silently begging her to look at me, to give me some sign that she wanted to fix this too.

but she didn't. the minutes ticked by, and i could feel the distance between us growing. it wasn't just physical; it was emotional, a wall that neither of us seemed willing to break down. i thought about all the good times we had shared, all the moments that had made us so close, and  wondered if those memories meant anything to her now. did she miss me the way i missed her? or was she already moving on, putting me and our relationship in the past?

the longer we sat there, the more unbearable the silence became. i felt like i was suffocating, trapped in a room filled with memories that were slipping through my fingers. i couldn't take it anymore. i had to do something, say something, anything to break the silence. but as i opened my mouth to speak, she suddenly stood up, grabbed her things, and walked out the door without a backward glance.

i sat there, stunned, as the door swung shut behind her. it felt like a slap in the face, like she had just walked out of my life for good. tears welled up in my eyes, but i blinked them away, refusing to cry in the middle of the coffee shop. i didn't want anyone to see how much i was hurting.

but as i sat there, alone in a place that had once felt so full of life, i realized that i couldn't keep doing this. i couldn't keep avoiding her, pretending like this didn't matter. i had to talk to her, even if it scared me, even if she didn't want to hear what i had to say. because the truth was, i couldn't imagine my life without her, and i wasn't ready to give up on us.

with a shaky breath, i gathered my things and headed for the door. i didn't know where she had gone, but i was determined to find her. seeing as i was going back to training soon, i'm not going to have as much time on my plate as i hope. i wasn't sure what i would say, but I knew i had to try. because if there was even a chance that we could fix this, i had to take it. i couldn't let her walk away without a fight.