CRIMINAL LOVE||L.HS X S.JY

E I G H T

Chapter eight:a mafia can't fall in love:heeseung's pov

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I just sat there staring blankly at the ceiling above me,there is no way i am falling in love,no,i can't fall in love

even if he is a mafia..jaeyun is still like a fallen angel,and i..i am a monster

i can't let jaeyun fall in the dark,i am dangerous,i know it very well..i can't fall in love

things like love is forbidden in my world,i don't have a weakness,i am fearless...i don't want to have a weakness,i don't want to fear anything but still,i am also a human

i also have wishes,i also have desires...

but still jaeyun deserves someone better,better than me...but i can't bear to see him with someone else,jealousy is a bitch

i sipped my wine a sighed,i have to distance myself from him..get a grip lee heeseung you have just met him 2 weeks ago

i scoffed,there is no thing like love at first site,its bullshit,infact,
love is a bullshit

just act normal,it will go away after sometime..we aren't meant to be together

i groaned throwing the glass on the ground and watched it shatter into pieces just like my heart

oh,shut it lee heeseung..you dont want another heartbreak,you dont want to hurt jaeyun right?

i need to stay away before i ruin myself and him,i can ruin myself but i can't ruin jaeyun's life

he just deserves someone beter than me,someone who can keep him happy,someone who will cherish him,and besides he already like someone

yes,i heard them talking,jaeyun expressing his feelings about how he feel when he is with the person

i shouldn't but i feel jealous,ah..the person must be very lucky to have him

i scoffed and just layed there doing nothing..well..i am drunk,kinda

i need water so i stood up and walked to the kitchen to get some water

i stepped in kitchen and saw jaeyun there,making something
so i casually just walked to the refrigerator and pulled put the water bottle

don't talk to him,keep distance,i repeated these words in my mind
and continued to drink water,well,i kinda stared at jaeyun while pretending to drink water,darn it

"hi hyung,i am making some ramen,you want some?" he turned to me and who was i to reject his offer,don't be dramatic..ramen is life bro

"sure,i would love to eat ramen made by you" i sweetly smiled at him forgetting the words i was saying to myself and sat on the chair

"here it is" he gave me my bowl and sat down infront of me

"do you want spam?" he asked as he opened the can of spam,i nodded cuz,its no harm in trying

he cut the spam and placed it infront of me,i thanked him and started to eat

"hyung,can i ask you something?" he suddenly asked me,i looked up wih my mouth full of ramen,i nodded

he seems hesitate to ask as he sighed heavily "do you have a boyfriend?"

i chocked on my ramen,he panicked giving me a glass of water,i gulped and looked at him

"uhm...no,why did you asked?" is there a possibility that jayeun like me?a sudden wave of exitement rushed inside me as i gave my full attention to jaeyun

"nothing,i was just curious" he just shurgged his shoulders and went back to eating

i have to say this guy confuses me more than mathematical problem,well,atleast he cooks good

to be honest,this is the best ramen i have ever eaten in my life,well i can cook ramen but i just cook it in simple way,but jaeyun added so much flavour and all that stuff that made it special

i wish i could eat his handmade food all my life,you know what i mean...i sighed,ignoring jaeyun is the hardest thing and i failed today

we talked about random stuff and i have to say i enjoyed the time we spent together,gosh...please i am falling in love

i walked back to  ky room and just throwed myself on the bed,lee heeseung,you know a mafia can't fall in love...you have to control your feelings before it's too late

i closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep but unfortunately,my room was much closer to sunghoon's and sunoo's room,and i could hear the noises coming from their room,i sloed my eyes and squeezed the pillow onto my head but it was of no use

"bitches" i mumbled

oh,this was going to be a long night and i am seriously not prepared for it

guess what,i will be thinking about my feelings tonight,i stared at the photoframe on the bedside table and sighed

this was the result of falling in love.