Under the sky in room 553 I discovered you and I

Part 13

"I can't go today, Yeji. I'm sorry."

Another empty excuse as she pulled the phone away from her ear and hung up. Jimin sighed to herself before leaning back against the tree, pulling up the first name in contact, and pressed the dial.

One beep. Two. Then, three. Jimin grew exasperated. She'd grown to detest beeping noises, and this was unnecessarily getting under her skin. Yet, she didn't expect it to stop anytime soon.

"The number you are trying to reach isn't available right now, please try again later."

The automated voice sent her straight to voicemail. That didn't bother Jimin, anyway. Because it was exactly what she dialled for.

"Min, it's me again. I had a horrible day today." She sighed, putting the phone closer to her mouth. This had become a routine for her, visiting the park and leaving Minjeong's phone number a voice message at the end of every day.

It had been another arduous year for Jimin. She'd graduated now, looking for her opportunity to start a career as a dance teacher. She had long dreamed of celebrating her graduation day with Minjeong, the younger standing right next to her on that venue stage—dressed in a similar gown, wearing a similar hat, staring at her with the proudest smile in the world.

When she wasn't there, Jimin felt like she was on that stage alone, although hundreds of others were beside her. Feeling lonely in a crowded room was possibly the second worst feeling she'd ever encountered. Only Aeri, Ningning and Yeji were there to celebrate it with her. Back then, she told herself that it was enough.

Ever since Minjeong left, Yeji had been trying to spend more time with her. For once, they would meet outside the hospital, and Jimin was forced to realise just how normal the other girl looked without her lab coat. On lonely nights when the silence of her own bedroom had her in a chokehold, Yeji was there to soothe her uneven breaths. On days when Jimin's signature smile didn't reach her eyes, Yeji was the first to reach for her hand. When she took longer than usual to respond to a text, Yeji would almost always call her precisely an hour and a half afterward. Every single time, she was right on the clock. This time was no exception.

Except, Jimin made yet another lie. Today was one of those days, but strangely enough Jimin couldn't find the strength in her to fake another smile in front of Yeji. She knew the other girl would never say it to her face, but deep down she knew just how much of a hassle she'd been.

That was all she was—Yu Jimin, a burden. A failure.

She was never a patient at that hospital, but somehow it turned out that this nurse had been taking care of her for far longer, and far more attentively than she would those in her professional demand.

And God had Jimin felt like utter scum sometimes for always being dependent on her. She was the older one, but why was it that Jimin acted the part more than she did? When will she finally be able to live on by herself?

It was when she realised she wouldn't, that led her to the park—a bottle of pills in her coat pocket, a phone in the other. So now, she sat, knees hugged to her chest under a shrouded maple tree, leaving a voicemail to a number she'd spent half of her monthly wage paying just to keep open. 

"Has it been long enough? Because I can't do this anymore, Min. It's becoming too exhausting, and I don't know if I have any more reasons to keep going. You're not here anymore, and I just—" she had to stop herself before she began getting all choked up. "I... I've given up."

With her free hand, Jimin reached inside her coat pocket and felt for a familiar cylinder bottle, grasping it tightly in her hold. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I'm still a coward." She continued, voice desolate.