Elementary School Lovers ᎒ Michael Afton

𝐏𝐨𝐥𝐲𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐏𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐜

There's something that you kind of lose with Michael, a pleasure you're not very proud of due to the nature of his behavior but nonetheless allow yourself to be indulged in whenever applicable. The subtle smell of his cologne, never harsh on your nostrils yet strong enough to carry you away into an abyss of your fantasies that awaited to taunt you in the most mundane of moments. Disheveled curls that weren't brushed out that morning that craft his fine and are more defined as they build more shape than the fathered they would be in. The sound of his thick accent that was never comical but called for sophistication and intrigue even with the phrases that slipped passed his lips.

You felt your stomach churn, there's something so disgusting about your thoughts about him that make you almost want to hate yourself for just feeling that way about him. You try to fathom the idea of even being in his presence without the revolting thought of past and future thoughts. You fall into despair with your reality always washing away the filter that you displayed whenever Michael came to mind, was infuriating as it was, what could you even do? There's a bubble of vomit in your throat, the exit of gas leaves a stinging burn to remind you of what is to be your fate if you continue on with these thoughts.

What could you even do?

Your thoughts began to amplify with your brain being stirred about into a soup that would allow Michael's ego to skyrocket with the attractiveness that couldn't be fathomed with how someone like you could even think of him that way. You find yourself almost fainting with sound of his voice, there's an emptiness in the few classes you share with the academic failure that was Michael Afton, since Elizabeth had died there began a stutter in his presence in the room.

There's a fear in your head that you're looking for him in a crowd, but you're just looking out for him. A family friend who you grieved with when his sister died because you couldn't imagine yourself in their shoes, you come and help out at their house and be a positive presence such as when Evan comes over to your house instead of staying home with an older brother who won't leave his bed.

You feel for the boy, forgotten under all the tragedy that you coddled him as if you birthed him, you hold him close and squeeze him hoping he'll pop and never deal with a negative emotion ever again. You find yourself excited with the chime of the doorbell, Divine out with friends and your parent busy with work, you're met with Marilyn dropping off the boy and giving you the chance to blast those old cds that Evan had brought from his house.

You giggle at the way he moves, not a lick of rhythm in his feet just like his brother makes you howl in laughter as the little boy looked up into your eyes with nothing more than a gleeful expression as he continued to dance. You join, obviously, he's the only reason you'd ever do such a shitty dance. You find the little boy's feet on yours; you entangled fingers and picked your leg up as you danced with the young boy.

There's a look on his face that you can't fathom, one you adore that feels familiar to the cravings of a pregnant person. There's a uniqueness, something that's make you want more and more, a desire keeping you in Evan's presence that leaves you enthralled with the little boy and the excitement that comes from just being around him that makes your throat sore from cheering so loud.

You dread when the time comes, his mother ring your doorbell and the look on his face that falls as he then begs for a sleep over, you shake your head at this and explain the high school work yo have to do. You rub his head and holds your waist as if you'd turned to dust if he let go. You rub his back, you pat his head, and you wish both a goodnight before making your way towards your room.

There's something that sits in the corner, a loving surprise of the chocolates and flowers Michael got you the day before, you find your eyes slowly dragging themselves away from the obscene declaration that had your heart pounding endlessly against your chest. You'd fear for the damage that was going to collapse your skeleton.