Task Force Trilogy #1: Bullet

Chapter 45

NADIA Aurora Valencia. 24 years old. Teacher.

Napatitig ako sa mga picture frames. They were a lot. And most were her faces. Ito ang nagligtas kay Lieutenant Zamora? She looks soft and too kind. Mabuti at natulungan niya pa ang sundalo. I've always thought she will be scared, especially when I heard her in the phone.

No, sir. There's no signal. Mapuputol ang tawag. Lieutenant wanted to say that he's alright and you can just locate him through his phone. Buhay pa po ang phone niya pero wala siyang load para matawagan kayo. Or even his walkie talkie, I believe.

Damn.

Hindi ko namalayan na napangisi na pala ako sa sarili. Walkie talkie, my ass. She sounded so innocent and kind that I failed to take her seriously during the call. But now, now that I saw her face, I'm scared.

When I first saw Aurora, the first two things that immediately went inside my head were these: beautiful and liability. Those were the exact words I thought about while talking to her for the first few minutes.

She's quite beautiful to look at, but she looks weak. She can be a liability to the organization, and I didn't want that.

"She saved me. Nadia saved me. And I'm really, really thankful and grateful for her, lieutenant colonel. Kung hindi dahil sa kaniya, ay seguro patay na ako. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin kung hindi si Nadia ang nakahanap sa akin."

I tapped my pen on the table, repeatedly. Imbis na pakinggan ko ang mga sinabi niya, ay nangingibabaw lang ang paulit-ulit na pagtawag ni Zamora sa kaniya na Nadia.

Everyone calls her that. Nadia. Why the hell would everyone call her that? Can't they just call her Ma'am Valencia? Or Miss Valencia? Why did it need to be her first name?

Fucking shallow Valente. Naging mababaw akong tao habang iniisip iyon pero napagdesisyunan ko pa rin siyang tawaging Aurora. Just because I want so. Just because I want her to remember me.

Baka kapag tinawag ko siya sa pangalang itinitawag na sa kaniya ng lahat, ay maaalala niya lang akong ako lang.

I didn't want her to remember me, to notice me as just one of the high-ranked officer who helped her. I want her to remember me, and to notice me everytime as who I am right now, as someone like a friend.

"I've decided. Call me Valente, then."

My favorite name. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ko sinabi sa kaniya ang pangalan na dapat ay ako lang ang tumatawag no'n sa sarili.

I've used my name Valente inside my inner monologues, I talk to myself using that name, because that is the only name I feel that I own myself. A name which I know embraces myself outside of this field.

Why did I let someone speak my name other than myself? When I can't even allow my sister to call me by that name? Why?

Because Aurora made me feel Valente, she made me feel safe. And I did not even realize that, not until I admitted to myself that I am so in love with her already.

I wasn't use to drinking coffee every night, but I learned that she is used to drinking milk every night to help her sleep, I unconsciously decided that I should too.

At that table, all we had to talk about is our lives. About coffee and milk. About dreams and ambitions. I didn't even need to pretend. Aurora listened as much as she spoke to me. And I learned to love it. I got used to it.

I remembered that I did not favor her as much as I did to other people. Because I was scared. I was scared of her. Everytime I get to talk to her, it feels like I am getting lost in our own world.