Hope

Digging to Prosperity

Have you ever been so deep in a hole that you have felt like giving up? Don’t give up life is too amazing and beautiful, I use to feel like whatever I did, I always screwed up or messed up, whether it be school or in life I was so deep in the hole I didn’t know where to begin to get me out I didn’t know what to do, I was a freshmen in high school and I was doing online school I was flunking almost every class I was in in freshman year it got so bad where no body thought I would be anything in life and I felt like sometimes I was a burden to my family or I was a loser, I got so depressed all I would do was sleep,eat,game and try to forget about life and that life even existed my room was a mess almost all of the time I never cleaned up after my self I was repeating the same routine almost everyday and almost every semester I would get in trouble for not doing school and for my room I still did not care, I had back problems that I found out because I would have pain so I went to the doctors when I was in either middle school or high school I had scoliosis, kyphosis and osteoporosis, on top of what I was all ready going through it defiantly did not help at all. I didn’t really have many friends, and I was a hurt young teenager that needed discipline and love, one day my grandpa wanted me to mow the yard and I was feeling depressed I think or something but I don’t think I was in a. Good mood in general, but I think I ignored him, then I went to bed, and I woke up that night in the middle of the night, and something felt off, but I went back to bed. I woke up the next morning and went to my grandpa’s room and I seen him laying in his bed I was telling him that I would be back and I’ll mow the yard later but I didn’t get a response and I kept trying to talk to him no response so I went with my mom to my step aunts house and we was having a decent time I think until my mom got a call from my dad my mom didn’t answer and my mom was worried because my dad never talks to my mom or calls her so I called him thinking something was off and I got no answer and I kept calling him thinking he was hurt because my dad has really bad medical problems afraid for my dad I think I called my grandma and she was telling me I need to come home I kept asking why and asking if my dad was okay and she was saying he’s alright and I wanted to know what was happening then to find out that my grandpa passed away. I remember hanging up on her and I was so hurt I was upset my mom drove me back and he was so bad the medics wouldn’t let us see him, after that I went through a lot of issues, I was always upset thinking I could of done something that day when I left to help him but in reality I couldn’t he was dead I put it that on my self for so long, then a few months after his death I went to Hawaii it was an amazing trip and I came back from the trip and I basically gave up on school I was still failing classes and I was dealing with depression still, around Christmas time sophomore year I had I think over one hundred over due assignments and I got told that I would get kicked out of the school If I don’t get them done so I worked hard and got most of it done or almost all of them a couple weeks later I still got kicked out I couldn’t go back to an online school I think for two years and I was out of school for awhile until I found a school to go to, I finally got accepted to a school and I started there I really wanted to play football so I signed up for it I started going to the after school workouts and when spring came I went to like one spring practice, my back was so bad people would notice it and some people would make fun of me or laugh at me or calling me a camel, it hurt at times I really wanted to do football but I would have a lot of pain and I wasn’t that good and my grades were bad I was still almost failing every classes except maybe one or two then I got kicked out because of my grades, summer comes around I was planning on getting surgery on my back most of my summer was going to doctors appointments to see if im healthy enough to get the surgery, then I went on a trip with my buddy, I came back from the trip and I was almost ready to get my surgery It was scheduled for either September or October but I went on a trip with my dad and I ended up missing getting a covid test to get the surgery and I had to reschedule it for October 10th, this was my junior year of high school, I ended up going into the surgery I was scared but I knew God had my back and would keep me safe I went into surgery and I came out of it and I woke up screaming in pain and crying my grandma and my step grandpa were there my step grandpa is a strong man one of the strongest men that I know and he seen me in so much pain he cried I know I said step grandpa but I think he’s my grandpa and that what I think of him as, he has always been there for me when I was in the hospital I kind of had to learn how walk again kind of it felt so weird I was in so much pain I had to be in the hospital for a week almost it was the most horrible pain I have ever felt. Morphine made it worse they gave my morphine and I was allergic to it they didn’t know, and I didn’t know, but I was soo itchy I started to scratch at my back and dig into it I had a big cut on my back that ended up turning into a scar someone noticed it and I got a different medicine, one of the nights I was in the hospital my dad was there he went outside to smoke and I think I dropped the remote to control my medicine so I bent over the side of my bed to grab it while laying down and one of the I.V tubes came out of the needle while the needle was still in my arm blood was squirting everywhere and all over the room and me I called my dad and he thought like my I.V came out so he thought no big deal and hung up I Called him back and told him what was going on and he realized that I was bleeding and can bleed out he rushed up to my room and was yelling for nurses and was screaming for them then they finally got into my room and fixed it but when it was over I lost so much blood the room had blood on the floors I think walls me I think the equipment and my blankets and bed, I couldn’t even give my self a bath I had to have my mom hand wash me and that helped but days later there was still blood in the room. I went home and I didn’t do a lot I mainly slept ate food and walked for physical therapy here and there and then home instruction from school started to come to my house I think I was out for school for like 4 months, I went back to school and I tried to do track like maybe 4 or 5 months after my surgery I tried to do a after school practice and I gave up it hurt and I just couldn’t I basically quit and then I had a school meeting with this guy that helped me a lot he told me how many credits I had and it was 1.250 credits, he told me that I was so far behind that I wouldn’t be able to graduate on time in regular school so I signed up for a fast track after school program my school had and I tried it out all ready the first week I wanted to quit but the person that was at the meeting basically encouraged me to keep going, I kept going and I kept trying I worked hard there were days I would be up all night doing school and all day doing school with out sleep or with only a few hours of sleep. I worked hard I didn’t talk to my friends a lot or sometimes people I cared about and then summer came and I started a website and wrote some articles and then I worked for my step grandpa under the table and did work to a house he was selling and I did that for most of the summer and I really wanted to get school done so I started summer school, I took algebra 2 and another class and I pushed through it and got it done. And I went from failing half of my junior year and failing my sophomore and junior year to having 12 credits I was more that half way to graduating I had my goal on graduating either by October or winter of my senior year I went back to school my seniors year and I worked hard I I got most of my classes done by the time October came I had maybe one or 2 classes one week I did I think 138 assignments in a week and my teachers were impressed and were saying that that might be the most that they had ever seen completed in a week. And November came and I was on track to graduate earlier than my class my class was 2024 and I had all of my classes done I wasn’t the best at math so I had to retake the state test but I ended up doing a certificate class instead to exempt my math state test and I passed it and I technically graduated on November 21st and I had my diploma ordered and I had to wait for my diploma in the meantime I started online certification courses and I earned some certificates and January came around and they had my diploma at the school sometime in January I had a little ceremony at the school and got my diploma and I stayed at home and did certification classes and now I have over I think 15 certificates and I’m expecting to go to aviation school, if it wasn’t for God and my faith I don’t think I would have been able to do it, the moral of the story is no matter how hard it is no matter how far you think you are no matter how stuck you feel no matter how scared you are no matter how deep you have dug your self into a hole no matter how hard it is you can do it! The sky is the limit don’t ever settle for nothing less than your goals.