Amaranth Hue

The Omission

"Yeah?"

Her voice was like that of a harp. It was soft and forgiving. It was of beautiful tone and soothing to the ear. It was perfect. But, when I heard it, it stabbed me right in the gut almost like I couldn't breathe. Maybe it was the fear, maybe it was the embarrassment, or maybe it was the desperation. Either way, I looked down at my feet rather than at her, and it took me a while to collect my thoughts. However, she just stood there looking at me, waiting for me to speak with an inquisitive look on her face. I could feel my eyes burn with new tears and my throat became painfully raw. Not only that, but how was I supposed to stop her? What was I supposed to say?

"Helloooo? What did you need?"

I choked on my own throat like it had been clogging me, and I felt my nerves suffocating me. Fiddling with my cold yet sweaty palms, I looked down and let out my first exhale in what felt like minutes. Mary curiously stared at me as foot stomps increased behind her, the boy who had always followed her had caught up by now. "I..." my first vowel screeched like nails on a chalk board, as my voice rang to a pitch that could only be interpreted as the beginning of sobbing. "I..."

However, before I could get another word out, the taller boy who had been chasing her hadn't anticipated that she'd be stopped ahead of him, and he crashed into her, his lanky arms swinging around her and then grinding against the sidewalk, as the victim herself was projected into the road, followed by a blood curdling scream. My eyes shot open in horror as my limbs felt stiff and frozen. When Mary had lifted her head, she gazed up to meet a mechanical beast mere seconds away from her. Her royal blue eyes welled up in fear before...

Thunk

It had come into contact with her, the tires rolling against her skin so violently that the flesh had burned onto the rubber, her body was overtaken and crushed beneath the steel bumper of the car, and blood spilled out from her arms and her face. Crunching and cracking noises pierced my ears and caused my vision to fall dizzy. The boy, who had pushed her, was laying on the sidewalk with skinned elbows, bleeding onto the concrete, and staring intensely at the incident with a horrified expression. I whined and whimpered, lifting my arms up and blocking my ears with my palms as my tears ran below my quivering jaw, but I could still hear the noise. Her hair started ripping from her scalp and tangling in the machinery below the vehicle. I started muttering to myself before I even knew I was doing it. "I tried, I tried, I tried, I tried, I tried, I tried, I tried...."

The boy, whom I expected was her brother, started screaming in rage and his mouth gaped in utter disgust at the sight. Then, he looked up at me. "What... just happened... Why...?" I couldn't give him an answer. I couldn't do anything. I had absolutely no effect on this. I was powerless, I was useless. I could do nothing to ease his mind. I couldn't tell him it was going to be alright, because I knew the outcome. Mary was gone. There was no surviving what she had suffered through. He didn't know... But I did.

I could only kneel down to her, and pick up her head, which was scalped, bloodied, and practically unrecognizable. I stared into the eyes that were stained with terror in their last moments, and tears fell from mine. "I should've warned you... I fucked up again. I'm sorry. I'll fix this. I promise, Mary. I promise you."

"I promise."

Tuesday, May 25th

Once again... The alarm rung incessantly in my ears, and my mother swung open my door. "Rae Haskins! Wa-" "I'm aware, Mother. I'm late for school. But guess what? I don't give a shit. Now get the fuck out of my room and go to work before I make you leave myself." The woman, my mother, stood there in befuddlement and shock. Her expression looked more in awe than in disgust or anger. She kind of just...  stood there, processing what I had just said so disrespectfully. "I cant believe how much like your father you are..." and with that, she turned around and made her way down the hall, angrily grabbed her keys and stormed out the door. My heart rate picked up steadily, and I felt blood rushing throughout my whole being like I was stabbed with adrenaline. I stood up, gazed into my wardrobe and specifically chose any other outfit than the one I'd been wearing the last few.... Same... days. I grabbed my phone and wallet, but not my book bag. I didn't feel like going to school. I didn't want to suffer through all those classes feeling repulsive and guilty, sick to my stomach and wanting to throw up all of my organs. I didn't feel intact anymore. I was scrambled, a fleshy jigsaw puzzle. I wasn't myself anymore. It was like this trauma had ripped me apart and put me back together more empty and disturbed. I couldn't take it anymore...

I had to do something.

Anything.

A particular idea came to mind. One that seemed so heroic and perfectly orchestrated that I couldn't help but feel a smile appear on my pale and emotionally decayed face. Exiting my home, I made my way to the crosswalk as swiftly as possible. Mary nor her brother were near yet. I found it as the perfect opportunity.

I stepped along the faded lines of the crosswalk, counting each individual one and standing directly along the one in the very center. The breeze chilled my nape and caused goosebumps to line my skin, but it felt in the moment like a warm and dreamy sensation. My heart was pumping against my chest, and my breathing was enthusiastically quick. When I heard the muffler of that murderous vehicle, my excitement could hardly be contained.

Mary and the boy approached, and as did the rusty old car that sped down the road. I swept my hair back, and glanced away to the sidewalk where the girl had stopped, an urgent warning escaped her mouth but my ears were deaf to anything but the growl of my impending killer. Faster and faster my heart beat, and I turned forwards to see a man inside the car, one hand on the wheel, and a bottle in the other. His face was wrathful, but also scared as he had only just realized I was standing there. It was like I was invisible to him. I heard a scream...

And then...

It was quiet.

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Oh my god it's been so long. I had absolutely no motivation to write at all, and then finally came back to this wanting to continue. I'm glad I did because writing this was actually very fun. Uh- the next chapter will probably come out soon, you wont have to wait nearly as long as you did for this one. But anyway! Enjoy!