*Trigger Warning*
This time I'm going after
Everything that I've ever wanted
This time I'll show you what I can become
This time I'm going after
Everything that I've ever wanted
This time I'll show you what I can become
Things aren't so bad
They're just harder until they get better
Things aren't so sad
They're just lighter then heavier
Things aren't so bad
They're just harder until they get better
Things aren't so sad
They're just lighter then heavier than ever
Alison's POV
The third day at school, nothing distinctly bad happened. I just can't deal with seeing her around every corner. She's in almost all my classes and it seems that she's always near my locker. I can't look at her. She's so beautiful and she hates me so much.
But I hate me too. I wish I could see myself, the way she used to see me. This time when I go to the bathroom to cut, I don't go into a stall. There's no one there and it's during class so I don't think anyone will come.
I pull my sleeve up and breathe out in relief as the metal meets my flesh. It hurts so good. I'm addicted to the feeling of the adrenalin rush and the control that I feel when I cut.
I keep doing it when suddenly the door bangs open and Aria walks in.
I freeze. I can't move and I can't breathe.
She stares at me, her big brown eyes growing wider. "Ali, did you- are you-"
I slump forward and tears leak out of my eyes.
She rushes forward and hugs me and I hug back, grateful for the feeling of comfort but it doesn't last long. I want her off so I back up.
"Alison..." She whispers. "I'm-"
I cut her off. "Promise me you won't say anything." My voice cracks.
"I don't know..."
"Please, Aria." I cry. "Please don't tell. I'm okay. I only did it this once and I won't do it again."
The brunette still looks hesitant.
"Aria, please."
She sighs. "Alright."
"Thank you."
"But, Ali... Never do it again."
"I won't."
"Promise?"
"Promise." I know I'm lying but I just have to get her not to tell. I would say anything no matter how false it was if I just knew my secret was still safe.
She walks out of the room and I breathe a sigh of relief, putting my razor away and bandaging up my fresh cuts.
I go back to class but I can't shake the worried feeling. What if Aria tells?
When lunch rolls around I go to the library like every day. I haven't been eating but I'm just never hungry. When I even look at food I feel like I might just barf.
Emily's POV
Alison never comes to the cafeteria for lunch. I don't know where she goes. I don't know why I even care.
At lunch Aria doesn't say anything, which is really weird.
"Ar, are you alright?" Spencer asks, with a concerned face.
"What?" She looks up at us as if just realizing we're even there with her.
"What's up?" I ask, brow furrowed.
She sighs. "Guys do you think maybe we should... lay off of Ali?"
I scoff. "Aria you do know what she did to me, right"
"Em, I think we might have it all wrong."
"Okay." Hanna says. "Whatever she said to you, don't believe her. She's an amazing liar, remember?"
"But she didn't say anything... I saw her."
"Do what?"
"I promised I wouldn't tell."
I sigh. "She's not the victim here, Aria. She's still the same Alison."
"A bitch." Hanna agrees. "Don't feel sorry for her."
Aria nods hesitantly. "Okay."
-
When I get home I realize that I still have a framed picture of Ali and I on my desk. I pick it up and look at it. My heart hurts. Alison was my first love and I know I still love her. I just wish things could've been different. I wish she could be a nice person and we could've gotten together long ago and A would've never existed and all their suffering would've never happened. Everything is always her fault.
I hate her.
I take the picture and throw it down, stomping on it with my shoe and grinding it in. The glass shattered and I took the picture.
I hesitate before crumpling it into a ball and throwing it way in the back of my closet where I'll never see it again. Hopefully.
AN: Sorry this one is kinda short. The song is by this awesome lesbian band called Sick of Sarah. You guys should check them out, they're awesome! Anyway things are getting worse. Yikes. Hope you liked this chapter.
- G. Schreiber
Tumblr: Gretaschreib
Ask.fm: Gretaschreiber
Vine: Gretaschreib
YOU ARE READING
Breathe Me
FanfictionA is gone but the torment of Alison DiLaurentis is far from over. Her mother is dead, her father and brother are hardly around, everyone in rosewood hates her except her friends. And when she confesses her love to Emily Fields, Emily rejects her bec...
