A bend in space-time (Season 2) - The Umbrella Academy

Chapter 25: Ethereal whirlwinds

Chronological markers: this scene fits like a deleted scene from The Umbrella Academy, saison 2, episode 8, around 38:08 (just before the scene where Allison and Raymond finish rolling up the Swede in the rug, and Diego's arrival with Herb). TW: evocation of a corpse, interrogation using electrocution.

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Friday, November 22 1963, 11:21 am

'Hargreevism'. A neologism-like noun for any unlikely - and usually stressful, dangerous or even lethal - situation, involving one of the Hargreeves. Any of them. A well-documented phenomenon (by me and, unfortunately, their father), whose devastating potency tends to increase exponentially as they grow in number. In the presence of three of them or more, you're in serious trouble. With four of them, you need to activate anxiety management mechanisms. With five of them, the very integrity of the fabric of reality begins to be threatened, and with six of them (or seven, if you count that the afterlife is also blessed with one of those troublemakers), then the Apocalypse is near, if not unavoidable. At least metaphorically.

I couldn't imagine - yesterday - that the puddle of vomit in the alley behind Commerce & Knox could end up being insignificant, compared to what awaited me for the evening, after finally dropping by the Mansion to change into something other than my gardening overalls. Simple, high-waisted jeans and a blouse definitely still too hippy for my taste. Believe it or not, I'd barely finished putting my shoes back on when the phone rang and Jill called me.

It was Klaus. And - in an utterly suspicious voice - he asked if I could come over to Allison's to help them 'rectify the living room's interior decoration'.

It's a gift, to seem to say completely off-the-wall things and yet be so factual and accurate. Klaus excels in this field: his bullshit almost always makes sense, especially when the background reality beyond is terrible. This was demonstrated to me again - last night - during the most formidable 'Hargreevism' known since the 2019 Apocalypse.

I arrived by taxi. Quite late. And there, on the sofa of the Chestnut's cozy little living room, the corpse of a tall, blond behemoth was quietly stiffening.

I learned that Allison and Raymond had been attacked in their own home, for reasons that are unclear to me, but which I assume were again related to Five's doings. I found out that Allison had used a Rumor and induced one of the assailants to kill his own brother. She's not feeling very well, and neither am I, I admit. And while Klaus bragged for a while about his alleged ability to get rid of such 'bulky waste', you should know that he didn't do any better than the rest of us: namely, standing there all evening, slumped over the table. In shock, unable to decide what to do.

So why did Klaus ask me to come? He figured I could teleport the guy to a place that would make all the evidence disappear: directly above a landfill incinerator, or under the foundations of a skyscraper under construction. Nothing but logic in his brain. But I just can't get anywhere near that motionless man, his eyes staring into space, his expression frozen in pain, surprise and bewilderment. I couldn't do it. And I slept in the front porch veranda, unable to set foot inside again, even to go upstairs.

Now sitting on the sidewalk beside the pretty lawn bathed in the amber late morning light, I pass a hand over my eyes. The truth is, I've never seen a dead body, with two exceptions: the snipers at the Icarus Theater, dehumanized under their huge ant-like masks, and sadly my mother, in a past I'd rather not remember. Seeing ghosts through spectral energy is something else. Paradoxically, they inspire me with nothing but a terrible, violent impulse to live, whereas such inert bodies are just nothingness.

I hug my knees to my chest and watch the locals come and go. I've spent a large part of my morning watching the families walking around, oblivious to what's going on inside their neighbors' cozy house. Some are wearing their Sunday best, even though it's Friday: they're on their way to the Grassy Knoll to see Kennedy, something my mind can't even think about.