I don't know how long I stayed in that shower, only that the water had long since lost its red tint and I resigned myself to the growing feeling of misery and loss that steadily grew in the pit of my stomach.
Resigned myself? No, that wasn't it, not quite. In truth I had welcomed the feeling, allowing myself to be overwhelmed by it, because it was... easy. Comfortable.
And, strangely, safe.
At the same time, I hated myself for it, for giving in, for letting the seed of despair in my mind grow for years. And my hatred did nothing but dive me deeper into the darkness and the whole cycle went on, and on, and on. For the first time I truly understood why Bruce didn't kill - with the power I had I was in his shoes for the first time, and I wanted to put an end to every rapist, and abuser like Gale. It would be so damn easy to justify it.
I just had to keep telling myself that with great power comes great responsibility.
And Spider-Man didn't off people.
But I would keep that to myself for the time being.
Finally, I turned the water off and stepped out, drying my hair and body with a grey towel before wrapping it around me. Earlier Jason had passed some clothes though the door without looking, dropping them on the floor. A plaid hoodie, jeans, a Red Hood t-shirt and a baseball cap that must've been Roy's.
It meant I could hide my bruised face.
I stepped back into the cave and found the others.
"Better?" he asks.
I nodded. Better.
More than back home.
Where people are mean. Unfair. And I'm angry.
I'm not good with anger.
It lights my blood like flames.
"So what kind of vigilante wears his own merch?" I asked, holding up the Red Hood logo on the shirt. I didn't let him answer though and said, "I think I look less like Two Face, and more like I didn't cook the man some fucking eggs."
"Was that a Once Were Warriors reference?"
"Yep." Again, I nodded. For a lot of people, I knew that movie was a harsh reality, including my own maternal grandmother, Nonna Angela.
Jason placed a hand on my shoulder, and I looked up, but he avoided making any legitimate eye contact with me. I placed my hand over his and squeezed - I think he knew it was more than just a reference. I wished I had the courage to hug him.
"Am I the only one that finds this strange?" Damian interrupted with his arms crossed. "That she's already managed to seduce Todd? Not that it isn't hard." He shoots a sidelong glance at Jason.
Jason gritted his teeth. "She's my friend. That's it."
At the same time, I said, "That's not what's happening here. What does it matter to you anyway?"
YOU ARE READING
The Knowhere Girl
FanficPeople always said I was cursed. Gwen Stallone is a Realm Walker with a lot of family drama and a mysterious connection to Jason Todd. They share a terrible secret, but one that will draw them together.