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First things first, the cover—OMG, I absolutely loved it. The clock at the edge and the typography give the vibe of historical fiction. The text placement is perfect. The graphic designer did a great job; the cover can surely attract readers.
The title, I believe, “Devasya” means godly and “Kanya” means girl. It's an interesting title that can catch the eye of our readers.
Next, the blurb. You didn’t reveal much, but it still intrigues the reader. I did some research on “Aru Shah,” and I believe you introduced Pandav reincarnations in Kaliyug, which cleared my doubt about why you named it “Ardha-Narisvara.”
You used rich vocabulary in the blurb, yet it was simple and perfect. You didn’t give any excessive details but described the plot really well.
Your writing style is rich and smooth, without using unnecessarily big words. However, I found a few minor mistakes that could be removed with a careful read-through and edit.
The narration was really good, but the paragraphs were quite long. Breaking paragraphs is important; some readers avoid books with long paragraphs. Also each paragraph should only focus on one subject.
You seemed mindful of this, but the first chapter could use some editing. After all, the first chapter is where readers decide if they will continue reading.
In the first chapter, the detailed description of the surroundings was smooth and well done. Based on the blurb, the reader understands that the Pandavas will meet their future incarnations. You showed how Shree Krishna Paramatma wanted change through a little girl’s innocent plea, which was adorable.
The first chapter serves as a prologue and builds the base for your story. The flow was smooth, intriguing, and good.
Now, onto the disheartening stuff. As mentioned, long paragraphs can make you lose a reader. Medium-length paragraphs would be better. Aside from that, I didn't find any mistakes as I was captivated by the rich vocabulary and interesting plot.
The plot of the Pandavas meeting their Kaliyug reincarnations is intriguing. It raises questions like, will the great war be stopped? Can the Kuru princes clear the rift between them?
As readers dive into the story, they’ll see the entire Kuru clan, including Shakuni, Krishna’s family, and Balarama, reacting to the book.
Their humorous reactions to Kaliyug’s stuff and their mispronunciations give a natural vibe, making it clear they are new to this era.
It gets emotional when Kunti remembers her firstborn. Managing so many characters and their dialogues is challenging, but the chapters do not neglect any characters.
Your vocabulary is rich, and the grammar is smooth.
The way characters are intrigued about how the civil war would start, their sense of familiarity with Aru, how Dhritarashtra remembers about Pandu and think about their bond show that we are reading a well-organized story. Each character is portrayed very well.
The tiny details, like “the white rose bush planted by Dushala” adds depth and intrigue to the narration, even if they aren’t essential to the plot.
The dialogues are well-written and not forcefully inserted, with good punctuation.
Overall:-
A unique Mahabharat and Arushah fiction with lots of details and good grammar vocabulary. Great character depth and well written dialogues. Not many complaints (:
