𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐗𝐄𝐃 [𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐱𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥]

16. Troubled Talks

"Why do you have to be so stubborn Mou! It's been three whole days since you dashed out of the Chem Lab and you haven't said a word about it to any of us"-Sienna pointed out in annoyance, as she looked at Anastasia and Angelina for confirmation, who nodded their heads, pretty violently, in tandem. "And then you turn up to recess with red, bloodshot, puffy eyes, like you'd just seen Titanic for the thousandth time, and still ask us not to be concerned! Your audacity is appalling!" Sienna huffed, ending her accusations as she stuffed her face with a cinnamon roll and chewed aggressively.

"Don't be so hostile babe! Look at her! Look at those huge dark circles! She clearly looks sick and you're going to make her even more ill with that fucking insensitive tone of yours. If she's not telling us something, it definitely means that she's not sure about it herself. Let me try." Angelina suggested, scolding Sienna who rolled her eyes, displeased, and reached for her third cinnamon roll of the day. The school cafeteria served the best cinnamon rolls in the world, Sienna always said.

"Hey, Mou"- Anastasia started softly, as she took hold of both of Monica's hands and enclosed them between her own warm ones, before continuing-"we understand that you're going through a lot at this point. Even though we don't know what it is that's causing you such dilemma but we can notice it all in your face, Mou, and we understand that it must be something really ugly. Heaven! You look like a goddamn zombie! You seem to have lost yourself.-" Angelina said pushing harder as her grasp on Monica's hand tightened-"We can't just let you drown away and watch from the stands, doing fucking nothing! I-We, know you from the crib Mou, what is it that you can't tell us? How worse could it possibly be? Hadn't we sworn to stand by each in all our highs and lows? It was a promise Mou! And now, you're backing away from keeping your-"

"I'm not" Monica said finally, interrupting Angelina's rants, and speaking up for the first time that day.

It had been awfully tough on her lately. With everything that's going on and every little thing that's unfolding, Monica couldn't help but spiral away in her own plethora of thoughts, possibilities and questions. She solely had two things playing on her mind for the past seventy-two hours. One, why did Emily Rhodes kiss her out of the blue? And two, why does she feel this way, after the kiss.

These two unanswerable questions have been eating her up inside. It's as if she was going crazy. Absolutely hysterical. She couldn't eat well, as food, which she loved so dearly, suddenly seemed to make her nauseous. She couldn't focus either and all her pending assignments were left blank. Even if she had tried do a few, they were all unorganized and untidy, clearly reflecting her lack of concentration and interest. Monica didn't talk much either. She was missing her usual,cheerful, sunny self. She wasn't participating in her surrounding conversations, with her buddies-just an occasional nod, was all they received. Monica couldn't even sleep, as all night she'd stay up thinking, 'why am I feeling this way?' or 'what is wrong with me?' , or the most prominent one 'am I going insane?'

Monica was indeed losing her mind, and what's worse is that, she knew it-yet she could do nothing about it. She couldn't even tell anyone,the cause of her distress. Her parents always seemed to be the better option, to open up to, but, then again she would restrain herself thinking that, her kissing someone and losing her mind over it was probably the least of their problems. She didn't want to burden them with her worries, either. Moreover she was sixteen, and old enough to not involve her parents into silly school drama. She should be focussing on her upcoming exams, instead of whiling away time, doing potentially nothing.

Then there were her friends. She had, indeed, innumerable times, considered, informing them about this ugly peril she was in, but she always felt that she would be causing them trouble, by doing so. No one but Monica, truly understood the importance of revision of study matter, and correctly utilizing that time, when final exams were barely a month away. She might waste away her precious time, but she couldn't afford her friends to do the same, that too, because of her and her stupid thoughts. It would pain her a thousand folds more, to learn that she was the cause of her mates' poor scores.