AUL//Gametoons book 2 (mimedoodles)

[[110]] Hi, I guess.

[ Mentions of N$FW + swearing + venting + backstory tr4uma + a LOT of reading, sorry ]

Hi y'all, it's been awhile. Sorry for that.

I just don't have anything to post + I don't really have any work that I think is good to post here.

I want to vent, but I don't want to at the same because I don't want to make others uncomfortable.

There's another thing about me, being insecure and overthinking and self conscious all because I don't have anything to show to this fandom.

I would post to other fandoms but I'm ... Not really into anything else like that or the stuff don't really have fandoms.

I would really like some art suggestions on what to draw, just spit out anything you like, and I'll do it. But only about AUL or GT wise please.

And the whole no feedback thing is making me tired, I want communication. I hate asking for something so nicely and politely and getting nothing. Am I not worth it ? ... Ugh, there I am, overthinking again.

And when I say communication, I mean I want actual people voting on my stuff to show they really care about me + the stuff I make and I want those people to comment on my stuff.

I'm not forcing anyone, I just really hate being ignored or stuff like that.

I know the fandom is practically dead at this point, and I get it, but at least show me support.

[ It's a little rude. Just saying. ]

And to the person who flagged my fucking art, I hope you know I'm in misery. Those fucking arts took fucking hours to make. And just because they have a character I love dearly or "bEcAusE yOu DoN't LikE iT " doesn't mean you can flag my stuff. N$FW art is going to go in a N$FW book. End of story.

I hate being misunderstood.

I want people to like me + my stuff without them seeming like they're forced.

And I want people to give me art requests. Like ... Back in 2021. Everything was good and alive back then. What happened ? Oh. That's right. Cory + Katie left GT + NSP and I'm not good at what I do anymore. I get it now.

God, I hate venting, it makes me feel like I'm complaining. Is it really complaining when I'm saying what's on my mind and how I feel ? I don't know anymore.

I just want people to be like it was back then, nice and alive. And, to those who are thinking "But Mime, I already know you won't do my suggestion/request so why should I bother ?" I probably never saw your suggestion/request or either forgot about it. I'm sorry. I really am.

I'm not going to quit. Quitting would be the worst grave mistake for me.

I'm going to try and keep going, but if I keep running out of motivation like this I might as well.

And, to those who wonder if I'll ever do digital art again, I probably won't. I'll probably only post something with digital art that is/art "concepts" for AUs I have.

Traditional art is pretty much the only thing I'm good at, and I'm sorry for it.

And to the people who aren't English reading my stuff, please stop it. It's pointless. You probably don't even know half of the English dictionary yet. I only accept Silen because they're very good at it and I can sometimes understand them. But when it's other people, I don't understand fucking jack-shit. At least use google translate or something.

And to the one person who wanted to see the BATIM AU again, I promise I will try to make some art on it, it's just I have no ideas or anything. It's ... Kind of why I ask for so many art suggestions/requests, and I'm sorry for it.

 I want to make content, but ... I have no motivation for it, and I feel bad for it. I feel like I should always be uploading to keep you guys pleased. But all I feel and give is disappointment.

I hate feeling sorry for every flaw I have. It makes me feel not appreciated.

I still love AUL very much but sometimes I just feel like everyone I know doesn't like AUL anymore. Like they moved on or something. They probably did.

And, to the people who always respond with "Hey, maybe you need some rest" + "You should take a break", kind fully and respectably shut the fuck up.

I have tried very hard to do those things. They never work. I either 1, feel worse than before, or 2, keep pushing myself.

I'm not trying to be rude or push anyone away, I promise.

I don't want to be misunderstood. I want to be like everyone else where they're all happy with each other, and I can't do that. Not with trust issues or overthinking anyway.

I hate it when people give me the silent treatment whenever I say or post anything about Alan. They won't vote, they won't comment, they'll just read the chapter and leave it. They won't tell me "Nice art" or anything.

Okay, I get it, I have a weird obsession. Please stop making it more obvious than it already is.

I have a hypers3xual problem. And it gets really bad whenever I'm introduced to a father figure character. I'm sorry.

I think it's because growing up I was always ... Sp4nked for bad things I've done. It ended up making me gain a ton of fucking k1nks. I feel gross confessing about my problems. But it's for the better, right ? .. Will I get comfort or help if I do ?

I don't want to vent without seeming like I'm being an attention seeker or being judged. I hate being misunderstood. It makes me feel like I'm the bad one in the situation when I'm not.

I'm also done with 9th grade/this school year I think. So I might be on more often, I can't promise anything though.

I also want to request stuff to other artists that are still in the fandom but they either don't say they take requests or are too busy with life.

Like .. Cadaver/Siicky for example. I love her art ! Like, it's godly amazing. It just pains me when I want to request stuff even though I know she isn't taking any. And that leads me to no one else which makes me sad.

I don't want people to get tired of me when they see I request for the same thing either, it will make me feel guilty and ashamed. I just .. Wanted to see what the character looked like in your style ..

I'm sorry for venting here, I just ... I guess I had a lot to say.

And no, I'm not okay. So don't ask.

And please, keep my word in mind.

Uh, cya I guess.