DAZED (wlw)

Chapter 15: Meeting father and 'her' Emily

Imagine my shock and confusion when my phone rang with a contact that was long forgotten at the back of my phone book. It took me a whole minute thinking if I should accept the call after all these years of not knowing what business he’s got going.

After a bit of pondering I accepted the call and went silent, waiting for the other end to talk,

“Sam?”, he talked with unsureness in his voice.

“Yes dad, it’s still me”

“Oh- okay, should we meet for a talk even for a bit?”, he asked getting to the point of why he called.

‘So he knows’

Maybe mother told him. It took her a month to crack and tell father about it. He was once a true believer, a Preacher, his time was always dedicated to his beliefs. I admired him when I was younger and made me believe that he is a good father, not knowing the fact that growing up, that admiration would turn to hatred and dissatisfaction.

“Sure, when are you coming by?”

“I’m free on the second weekend of next month if that’s okay with you?”

I had in fact no choice but to agree. However bad our relationship was, he was still my father, a bit of respect is needed even if it gave me another headache.

The abrupt call made me reminisce the good times we had and when it all started to go downhill which made our relationship sour until that very moment.

‘If he were not that neglectful then, would our relationship be different now? Would he talk me out of this ‘phase’ and look at me in disgust like mother did?’

Every sigh that came through my mouth did not dissolve the heavy weight in my heart throughout the day. I had the urge to just skip the rest of work hours and run straight to Alexis, seeking for a bit of comfort even by just the sight and accompaniment of her.

“Sammy”, Alexis breathed out like my sudden appearance was something she did not want at the moment. Her body was blocking the door and her face looked like she was not in the mood of inviting guest inside her home.

Her look softened after she observed my face for a while.

“Wait a bit, I’ll change. Let’s go for a stroll”, she disappeared closing the door when she saw that I simply stood there in silence. Indeed, looking at her changed my spirits to a level but the look she gave me at first glance when she opened the door gave me a little nauseating feeling, and how she closed the door on my face made me doubt if there was something going on.

I shrugged it off and leaned on the wall, studying the patterns of the floor.
My thoughts swirled thinking of how miserable I’ve become. This kind of relationship should have the same level of normalcy like any other relationships, maybe then I would not be feeling this and also, maybe then, it would be acceptable to everyone around.

Earlier that week, I also did see the same weird look from Miriam when I finally admitted that I was in a relationship, not with a man but with a woman. It didn’t take a moment and her desk moved farther away from me like she ought to avoid a plague. The others though seemed to be much more open-minded and joked with Brandy that it might take him a billion chances to snatch me away, so I didn’t take it as a big deal and did not inform Alexis.

“Let’s go”, Alexis came out, reaching her hand in mine and pulled me towards the open lift. The warmth of her hands made my chest light and my heart tingle with tenderness. For once that week, I smiled, my dimples showing and my eyes glowing with life. All my worries were washed away and I found myself empty in thought.