DAZED (wlw)

Chapter 17: Pandora's Box and Memoir

Days I have been cooped up in Alexis’ apartment. A week leave from work was long and excruciatingly boring. To be honest, she did in fact kidnapped me during my sleep. I thought that night after I was out of the hospital that I would be home and tucked nicely in my bed. It would have been the nicest feeling to wake up to in the morning but instead, I woke up in her bed in the middle of the night puzzled.

The next day, she scooped up my things and moved them into her apartment ignoring my adamant refusal.

She had accompanied me on most days during that workless week whenever she was free from the unending interruptions of her managers and some calls of distant friends (distant meaning that they are miles away) who suddenly arrived in surprise, only calling to let her know after they had already landed.

“They came to hunt me because of Emily”, she said on that Thursday morning while she prepped herself up, ready to go out. I hummed it off and also thought of bringing myself to the park for some sunlight and fresh air.

“I think I’ll be out later too”, she looked at me wondering then smiled.

“Alright, are you gonna be home for dinner?”, she subtly asked. I knew she wanted to know where I would be going but restrained herself from asking. I laughed at it quietly and looked at her for sometime.

“Yes, for sure. I’m just going out to the park for some sun and air. With my book”, the last phrase uttered slowly and the word ‘With’ emphasized clearly.

I studied her face as it grew to a shade of red. She turned away and cleared her throat, saying her goodbyes and trotted away in a hurry. It made me laugh like a madman.

The sun that afternoon was not as bright so I dressed myself casually, put on my shoes and drove to the park. It wasn’t as crowded as the weekends, just like how I wanted it to be.

I sat myself slowly on one of the benches and opened my book.

Instead of my mind focusing on the words, my thoughts had drifted off to the memories of Jade. She liked to be in the open so we would usually be out in the parks when her boredom struck. It would be anytime of the day and she’d come bothering me into coming out with her to the park. It was a sweet memory of us: sitting ourselves under a tree licking ice cream, feeling the wind, talking about things in life and ‘our’ future. She mostly talked about what ‘our’ future would be.

I sighed at the thought of that. I sighed with the fact that ‘that future’ was shattered by me, because I was still hanged up with my past. Mostly, because I was still inlove with Alexis and everything I see, everywhere I went, I could see her ghost with me.

The cold afternoon air didn’t blow away my tormenting thoughts, prompting me to stand and walk towards the car park. It was not yet late and I knew that Alexis would be out till the sun was down so I drove around town endlessly, searching for something that could fill up the feeling of emptiness I felt until I found myself contented.

‘University of xx’, it read. I had come past the university I once attended. The familiarity of it and the sight of the street where shops were lined up and lit. With an empty thought, the steering wheel had led me to the café where Jade had lead me to and where ‘our relationship’ started.

My mind was blank for a moment but the haunting memories made me silently and slowly reach out to open the car door until I have reached inside the café.

Everything was the same as I have remembered. The classics on play, the same old modern traditional décor, the same color of paints, the same table arrangements and the same hanging plants. Everything was the same except for the young bubbly employee that stood on the other side of the island, smiling sweetly from ear to ear.