all credits to @/maybankslover on tumblr!!
warnings: angst, angst, more angst, bit of fluff, touching not in a sexual way, mention of nipples, mention of blood.
summary: what happens when the only love you've ever known leaves you? what happens when you have a baby with him?
the good mood sky had been in all morning vanished the second she woke up from her nap, rejecting the bottle and latching onto her mother's breast to the point it hurted. rafe sat next to y/n in her bed while she tried, once again, to make her baby to let go of her nipple. the conversation from before left aside. "she just won't let go." exhaustion was winning her over, it hurted.
"can I try to detach her from you?"
"yes yes please do whatever you want please." she whined, tears were already forming in her waterline.
after a few minutes of trying with his thumb and index finger going around his baby's mouth, she finally gave in and let it go.
"oh thank god." y/n breath out all the air she had been holding in. he took sky in his arms kinda forcing the pacifier into her mouth.
"sweetheart, you're bleeding." the nickname naturally escaped from his mouth as he looked down at her breast where a bit of blood dripped from her areola.
"shit." she grabbed a towel from the side to dry it, hissing at the feeling of the towel against her sensitive skin. "hurts." she closed her eyes for a moment. "can you leave with her for a bit please? I need to be alone." the sensations of her body overwhelming her.
"but you're hurting y/n/n."
"that's why I need to be alone, please." rafe nodded and left closing the door behind him and heading to the living room. "remember why you are doing this." she said to herself. "you want sky to grow in a healthy environment with parents that get along."
her mind consumed her, all she wanted everytime she had rafe in front of her was go lay down in his chest and forget about everything that has happened but she couldn't cause even the mere touch from him made her go back to what he did and said to her.
it made her go back to the moment she felt her life crumbling down and her heart stopped, the moment when she asked "do you love me?" and he didn't answer so she had to ask a second time to receive an "I don't know.", to the moment she found out in a white gown in a cold hospital room she was pregnant, the moment she handed him the ring her finger still misses, to the moment she went into labor and all she wanted was him there to hold her hand and tell her he loved her but he didn't anymore and because of it the labor lasted more than what the doctors hoped to get sky out due to the stress and even after all those bitter memories, she still loved him. and she hated herself for that.
rafe knocked on the door a few hours later but at the no answer he opened the door, y/n was fast asleep in a pretty uncomfortable position. he got to the side of the bed, her t-shirt wet from the previous encounters with sky who was finally in a deep sleeping state.
he took a clean t-shirt from the pile of clothes sitting on a chair and tried to change her without waking her up. "alright sweetheart, get under the covers." he whispered, trying once again to succeed on his task without waking her up.
"mmhm don't go." she whispered in her sleepy state. "please." he smiled and took his slippers off before laying down beside her, it only took a second for her to continue her sleep and snuggle into his chest, his arms wrapping around her figure.
for the first time in months their bodies relaxed, the next morning rafe woke up maybe fifteen minutes before y/n did, he stayed there enjoying the moment, thinking about how this would've been his reality if he hadn't ruined it and if he had followed his dad's advise on getting help before breaking his engagement off.
"mornin'." she whispered laying an arm around his chest, her face rested on his neck, not fully awake yet.
"mornin'." he kissed her head.
"wait what?" she looked up at him and then down at their bodies.
"you asked me not to go." he gave her a side smile. "I changed you while you were asleep, you're t-shirt was dirty."
"okay, alright." neither of them wanted to get up but y/n did. "I'm going to go check on sky." and with that she left the room.
it was a weird morning to say the least, she avoided looking at his face and rafe took his chance while sky took her after lunch nap to sit down next to her on the sofa.
"what's going on?" she looked at him.
"what do you mean rafe?"
"you're avoiding me. don't try to deny it, why?"
"rafe... please" she sighed.
"no, tell me please. I don't know what I did now."
"I miss you that's it, I miss you and my skin feels as if it was on fire every time you touch me but I just can't let you in like I did last night." his eyes had a sad glint in them. "I can't I just can't."
"y/n/n, I won't hurt you." he tried to grab her hand but she was quick to not let it happen.
"you already did rafe, you already did."
