Dead Poets and Dying Roses

Tenth Chapter

"He's been caught." The blood in my veins runs cold and I freeze. "Rosalie? Rosalie!" Neil's voice sounds far away. "Yeah, yeah. I'm still there." My heart pumps so fast, I feel like throwing up."He brought a phone to the assembly and said 'It's God. He says we shall have girls at Welton'. Can you believe that?" "And what now? What's going on?", I ask, biting at my nails. My cousin sighs. "We don't know. We are all waiting. He's in the office with Nolan." God, how much I hate this man. The dean has always been a cruel and bitter man, hiding behind the mask of a noble teacher. I'm glad, that Neil never gets in trouble, so he doesn't have to face this asshole. But now Charlie is. "Promise you will call me as soon as you know more, alright?" My voice sounds numb. Neil can hear it to. "Look, I'm sure everything is going to be alright. I mean, we are talking about Charlie. Excuse me, Nuwanda." At the mention of this stupid nickname the corners of my mouth twitch up for a second. "If anybody makes it out alive, then it's him.", Neil further comforts me. "You're right. Just call me back and watch out for yourself and the others." "I will." Then he hangs up. I lean against the wall and breath. "Who was it?" My aunt peeks around the corner. "Oh, just some stranger, that got the wrong number.", I weakly mumble. "Is everything fine? You look worried, darling." She steps into the hall to me. I assure her, that I just left my window open to long and feel a bit sick. "Oh sweetheart, you need to rest, then you'll feel better." She gently rubs my shoulder in an attempt of parenting. "I know your uncle wants you to work, but I'm going to talk to him and tell him you don't feel so good." I give her a thankful smile as she sends me up in my room. Sitting on my bed I stare at the blank wall, while the memories rush over me. You are the reason I had to send him to a military school. Far away from your bad influence. The voice of Louis' angry father echoes through my mind. I have wanted to say goodbye before going to Vermont, but he has already been gone. The bakery empty without his presence. A lack of life. Just his father full of hate. This is entirely your fault. You planted this ideas in his mind. He's gone, because of you. Back then I have been even more intimidated from this man then from Mr. Perry ever before. Get out of my face. And don't dare to ever come back again. And now history repeats itself. Hasn't he said, that I am his muse? Wasn't it me, that encouraged him? I let myself fall back on my pillow. It just seems that all I ever do, is to bring bad luck to everyone around me. Mr. Perry has said it for years, maybe he's right. Or maybe I'm just overreacting. It was Charlie's decision, right? But no matter how much I try to distract me, I still feel guilty.

The day goes on in horribly slow time. I nearly have ripped the skin on every of my fingers open, when the ringing of the phone makes me jump. As I almost get caught by the doorhandle while running out my room, I can hear my aunt answering. Shit. Shit. Shit. "Rosalie!", she calls me down. "There is a Mr. Dalton. He wants to talk to you about a certain program at a university." I take the phone from her and luckily she leaves me alone with it. "You crazy bastard!", I hiss at him through the shell. "Woah, I don't think that's a word a young lady should use.", Charlie laughs at the other end. "I heard you were worried about me?" I can practically see him lean against the wall in a seductive way. "Fuck you, Charlie! I nearly died over here and you still have the audacity to joke around!", I lecture him raging like a savage, but actually I'm just glad he is okay and he knows it, too. "Just promise you won't do something like that to me ever again.", I beg him at the end. A soft chuckle hits my ear and I get all tingly by it. "Alright, I promise." And I know he is honest. It's just the way how serious his voice sounds. Somehow broken and exhausted. I know exactly what he has had to go trough. I know how people like Nolan or Mr. Perry function. I will always feel my uncles hand strike my face. The cut on my face. The way he always grabs my arms and leaves his prints on me. Throws me in my room and locks me up. "I'm sorry.", I whisper quietly. I don't even need to say the rest out loud. After a few seconds of silence he speaks again. "You don't need to be. It's their fault, not yours." He lifts a big burden from my shoulders with this sentence. "You know, that is the price someone has to pay for bravery.", Charlie continues speaking in a heroic voice. "It's like I proved myself to the god of the cave and showed him I'm worthy." I laugh at the confidence in his words. "Isn't that a bit dramatic?", I question him, but of course, the answer is no. "I mean, have you ever done something so dangerous?" I huff. "Yes! Everytime I came to a meeting!" But that certainly is not enough for Charlie Dalton. "Breaking out is easy!", this idiot claims. "But have you ever broken in somewhere?" Unbelievable. He really is no good influence at me at all. I am already reckless enough without these suggestions. It's like he throws the sticks in a fire. "So you want me to break into a bank? Or better, Welton itself?" It was meant as a joke, but I should have known that he will make it reality. "Why not?" Charlies daring voice comes out of the phone. "You are a mad man, Nuwanda!" A smile sparks on my face. "I see myself more as a visionary!", he answers to that. This is stupid, I should put an end to this before we get in trouble. At least one of us has to be mature. He just has escaped Nolan and yet he already challenges me to something even dumber. But my mouth is quicker than my worries. "I guess I will pay you a visit tonight then?" With this statement we are doomed. My future me is going to hate myself for this decision. Still, it is the right one. I have already missed out so much of life because of my mother's dissappearence and my uncles strictness. And it certainly won't get better in the future. There won't ever be a time to make stupid decisions again. I need to live my life as long as I still got the chance. "It would be a plessure.", Charlie flirts with me and then hangs up. High on euphoria I walk into the kitchen and grab a brownie. I have baked them while being stressed but now I feel light like a feather again. "What was your call about?", my aunt asks me curiously. "Oh, just this project about bilingual students having a talk at a university." Sometimes I really scare myself with how quick I can come up with a lie. "But I declined, because I want to focus on my studies more." With that everything is said and I go back to my room, taking two steps at a time. As soon as the door is cloesed I jump onto my bed and screech into the pillow like a twelve year old girl after her first kiss. I missed the feeling of this. Of having a crush. It's like you are in a whole other dimension, everything feels like an adventure. I really need to contain myself, but just for a bit I let go of controlling my feelings and let it rush over me.

"Not in a lifetime will I say 'yes' to this." Cameron crosses his arms before his chest. "Oh, come on, man! Every other member agreed to do it!", Charlie complains as always. "Agreed? You practically forced us, because you put that bad idea into Rosalie's head!", Knox states. "And we won't let her down." Charlie puts his arm around his friend. "Thank you, Overstreet!"  "I don't think, that this was meant to be positive.", Meeks throws in, but that doesn't bother Charlie at all. "I still can't believe how you can even think about such a thing after what happened!", Cameron continues. "And you all are supporting him!" Neil just shrugs. "Carpe diem, I guess.", he answers at Richards outburst. Neil indeed has noticed the influence of the group on his cousin. She finally has this spark in her eyes again. The sadness, that he has noticed the first time she was visiting him, is nearly gone. These meetings and the challenges are like a cure for everything bad that eats her up. And Neil will do everything to ensure that she will stay like this. It's good for her. After another half an hour the poets finally manage to convince Cameron to not freak out and attend the meeting. "If anything goes wrong, that's your fault!" He peaks his finger in Charlie's chest and then leaves. Charlie is thrilled. He has noticed the subtle hint as Rose has said that she would pay him a visit at night. He also knows that she is just messing with him and that he is close to loosing their little game. But somehow there was also this hope. The hope that maybe she really has meant what she said and would like to have something serious with him. The brown haired boy shakes his head to get rid of these thoughts. Rosalie and him will always just stay friends and he certainly won't go down at her hand.