The Joker and the Queen

PART V: ACCEPTANCE

Every night, Chatterbox was slightly excited to go to sleep. He found out that every night, he would have the dream of that same woman laughing joyously as she snuggled close to him. At this point, he didn't care if she was real or not, he just wanted to know more about her. He fell asleep on the couch that night with his mask off.

"You look great," Chatterbox could hear his own voice in the dream.

"Just great?" He heard the joking in her tone and the smile in her voice.

"You look spectacular," he had hummed.

"Just spectacular?"

"You look beautiful!"

"Just beautiful?!"

"What am I saying wrong here?" He heard himself complain.

"Never mind."

"Did you want me to say that you look hot?"

She chuckled with a soft hum of her own, "I mean, you look hot, too."

Even in his dream, he could feel his heart warming at the compliment, "I love you."

She laughed, "I love you, too, Chatty."

He could feel himself waking up and his chest hurt when the laugh started to fade away. Frustrated, he sat up only to see Sooty and Ursula panicking, wiping his nose and making him sit up. Sooty breathed out as she wiped his nose, "Were you forcing yourself to remember again, Chatty?"

He avoided her hand and took his mask that had fallen off the couch before slipping it over his face. He was frustrated, angry, and hurt. He just wants to remember her, "So, what if I am, Sooty? So, what if I am?!"

"Chatty," Sooty rubbed a hand over her face, "I know you want to remember. But, it's not good for you. Look, I understand that–"

"NO!" Chatterbox practically yelled, "No, you don't understand! Nobody does! Do you know what I've been dreaming about? Every night? Do you know what I've been feeling every single day? I feel like I lost half of me, Sooty! Half of me! Just because I lost my memories for an entire yucking year! I have a tattoo of a cat with a bowtie for crying out loud! And, I didn't even know how and why I got it! Yeah, you told me that I brought the Clowncil back; that I became the King of the Clowns, that I launched an entire yucking drug empire. I get that. That's something I would do for the sake of all these yucking clowns. But, what I don't get is why I'm not happy. Why am I dreaming of the same thing over and over and over again? Why am I happier in my dreams than I do when I'm awake? Nobody understands that, Sooty. Nobody. So, don't you yucking tell me that you understand!"

Chatterbox, in frustration, sat back down on the couch and put his face in his hands, "I'm sorry for yelling. I'm just–"

"Frustrated?" Sooty offered.

"Yeah," Chatterbox murmured.

"We've been giving you clues, Chatty," Sooty admitted, "Trying to help your memories naturally come back to you. We thought that this house was it but it wasn't. But, Kirk and Twinkles and Ursula and I and all the other clowns have been trying our best. So, you could remember everything that had happened. We didn't want you to force it. We didn't want you to hurt yourself."

"I'd rather hurt myself forcing myself to remember than not remember at all."

– – – – –

Chatterbox was learning about the huge drug empire that he started with Kirk, learning about the ins and outs of the money and the drugs, the clowns who were pushing weed in La Puerta, and who were helping out with cleaning and washing the money. They had an entire process that deeply impressed him. He didn't think that the clowns, as a group, would be this up good, especially working with Chang Gang. He went down to the basement to check on the amount of weed that they had left when he heard the front door open. From how they were walking, he knew it was Sooty who came barrelling into the house.