☆ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐒

Decisions

Onika Maraj
September 1993
Queens, New York
excuse any mistakes

The sun peeked over the horizon, casting a warm golden hue over the streets of South Jamaica, Queens. Nicki stirred from her sleep, groggily rubbing her eyes as she sat up in bed. The familiar sounds of the city slowly coming to life filled the apartment—the distant hum of traffic, the chatter of neighbors on their stoops, and the occasional blare of a car horn.

"Shit man" she muttered to herself, seeing her sister all up under her before swinging her legs over the side of the bed.

"Nicki, you up?" her mother called from the kitchen.

"Yeah, Ma, I'm up," Nicki replied, shuffling out of her room.

She made her way to the kitchen, where the smell of bacon and eggs greeted her. Her younger brother Micaiah, was hunched over the table, scribbling in his notebook, while her little sister, Ming, shortly awoke following her in the kitchen.

"Morning, Cookie!" Ming chirped, looking up at her.

"Morning, sweetie," Nicki said, ruffling her hair. "Morning, Cai."

"Hey, sis," he mumbled, focused on his homework.

"Sit down, baby. Breakfast is almost ready," her mother said, placing a plate of food on the table.

Nicki took a seat, trying to push aside the anxiety that had settled in her chest. She had to pretend everything was normal, even though she had lost her job at Red Lobster two weeks ago. The thought of telling her family weighed heavily on her, but she wasn't ready for that conversation just yet.

As she ate, her mother chatted about her plans for the day, asking Nicki about her work schedule. Nicki forced a smile, trying to keep her tone light and casual.

"Same as always, Ma. Busy day ahead," she lied, taking a bite of her toast.

Her mother nodded, not noticing the strain in Nicki's voice. "Make sure you take a break and eat something, okay? You work too hard."

"I will, Ma. Don't worry," Nicki replied, her heart aching with the lie.

After breakfast, Nicki headed back to her room to get dressed. She put on her uniform, the familiar outfit feeling like a costume now. She grabbed her bag and paused at the door, taking a deep breath to steady herself.

"Bye yall!" she called out, forcing cheerfulness into her voice.

"Bye, sweetie! Have a good day at work!" her mother replied, waving from the kitchen.

Nicki stepped outside, the facade dropping as soon as the door closed behind her. She walked down the block, unsure of where to go or what to do. The reality of her situation hit her hard, but she knew she couldn't give up.

With a renewed sense of determination, Nicki decided to head to a nearby bodega. She needed to figure out her next move, find another job, and keep pushing forward. She didn't wanna hurt her mother, she's gotten fired from other jobs because of her attitude.

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Nicki walked briskly to the bodega, the weight of her situation pressing down on her. As she entered, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled the air, offering a small sense of comfort. She spotted Latisha in an aisle grabbing some hot cheetos and sipping on an iced coffee.

"You about to mess ya stomach the fuck up!" Nicki called out, walking up to her.

She laughed at what she said "Nicki! My fake working friend,"she then teased with a grin. "What are you doin' here? Aren't you supposed to be at Red Lobster, servin' them cheddar biscuits?"