𝗚𝗢𝗔𝗟 𖥻! seonghwa

( 18 ) always

"I CAN'T DO it anymore. i'm either going to kill him or kiss him, neither of which he will let me do," chaerim sighed. as she walked with gaeul and yeeun out of school, chaerim got increasingly more anxious about practice. seonghwa's wasn't making things easy for her.

"you know the drill by now," yeeun said matter-of-factly, "talk to him straight up."

"i've tried. i mean, maybe i should've said different things, but i tried only to be shut down every time."

gaeul shrugged, "well, what do you really want to say to him?"

"i guess i should tell him how i feel... or felt? i don't know. i want to tell him i like him so we can figure something out," said chaerim, thinking hard. "i just can't stay in this limbo of not knowing and ignoring and keeping it all to myself and wondering— ugh!"

"just like that day in the cafeteria, you can try again. you know exactly what to say and do, right? just practice to yourself, then when you go to him, breathe and recite it," gaeul told her, calming down chaerim.

"alright, i'll do it. i can do it." chaerim reassured herself as her friends smiled at her.

"you got this. i'm going home now! text us how it goes," shouted yeeun as she walked further into the parking lot, while chaerim kept on down the sidewalk.

i got this.

yes. that day, chaerim wasted no more precious time and energy in avoiding him, and did it. she pulled him aside after practice as the other boys walked towards the building. her nerves were going crazy and her stomach was in a knot, but she was too determined to give up now.

"seonghwa," she softly said, "can i meet you at your car? i wanna talk."

he raised his eyebrow, "about what?"

"just... i have something to say," she looked away, making somewhat of an exasperated face, "just meet me, okay?"

"what if i don't want to?"

"i said meet me, idiot. please!" she spat and then quickly went to the locker room first.

seonghwa actually smiled at her actions. i guess it was really hard for him to move on from chaerim, no matter how hard he tried, and he still felt all warm and fuzzy around her.

seonghwa propped his body on the drivers side of his car, patiently waiting as he sucked on a lollipop.

a few moments later, chaerim appeared. she stood in front of him, holding her hands nervously.

"the weather is pretty good today," she noted for no real reason. he just nodded, which was at least better than some sort of rude comment.

he clicked his tongue, "i know you're not really here to talk about the weather. what did you want to talk to me about?"

chaerim asked straight, "i thought you liked me?"

he was silent and waited for her to say more. not a gesture or anything to clarify.

"... yoon sangah?" she solemnly brought up, and seonghwa tilted his head. she was totally going off script now. she was just speaking from the heart, even though she felt like she wasn't expressing what she wanted to say right.

"jealous, kim?" he asked, getting way too close for her comfort.

"just tell me, who is she?" asked chaerim, looking away.

"why does it matter to you?" he scoffed, giving his lollipop a loud pop as he removed it from his mouth once more to speak.

"because i like you, seonghwa," she nodded, "i agree; i don't want to be enemies and i don't want to be friends..."

he was silent for a moment, eyes widening slightly, "no you don't."

"i do!"

"very funny. for a second, i really thought that someone as cruel as you could be sweet." he turned to open his car door, tossing the half-finished lollipop aside onto the pavement, "now if you'll excuse me—"

she backhugged him, an impulse action to get him to stay and hear her out.

"seonghwa! i... i'm not perfect. my pride gets in the way of a lot of things. i curse too much. i don't make good grades. i sometimes forget to wash my face or brush my hair in the morning. i am really, really stubborn. and now you hate me, and i completely get it," she began her spiel, and seonghwa scoffed at the 'stubborn' bit, knowing it all too well.

she went on, "and i don't know how or why, but you told me you liked me. i didn't understand because how the fuck could someone like you fall for me? it scared me. especially with all we've got going on. before that, i never realized how much i look up to you, how handsome i think you are, how i like that you're a clean freak, how kind you secretly are, how it's so hot when you get mad at me, and— i always thought i hated you because you're so much better than i could ever be at everything you do." chaerim smiled, "... this is getting too sappy, but i like you seonghwa and i want you by my side as my teammate in life, not my enemy."

seonghwa tried to hold his smile back as he stepped forward and hugged her like there was no tomorrow. she did too, clinging onto the shirt on his back.

when he didn't speak for a while, chaerim quietly asked, "believe me now?"

"i believe you. and this is gonna sound really gross, but will you be my girlfriend, chaerim?" seonghwa made a face as he said it. they hadn't really gotten a hang of this whole 'being nice to each other' thing yet.

she nodded, "sure... w-whatever."

looking around first to make sure the coast was clear, seonghwa pecked her lips, this time unapologetically for love. no teasing, no games, just love. "get in. i'm driving you home."

she giggled, then did as she was told.

"so, we're boyfriend and girlfriend? ew," she laughed, and so did he, "i know right? who would've ever guessed it."

"definitely not me like ten minutes ago. well, should we just start over? like be nice to each other from now on and forget about everything we've said?"

seonghwa shook his head and then kissed chaerim's forehead, "no. i fell in love with mean chaerim, i'll keep loving mean chaerim."

"alright," she shrugged, "by the way, tell me who sangah is."

"aw, my jealous baby," he talked in a baby voice, pinching her cheek, "she's the head writer of the student news and she interviewed me for it about soccer and stuff. wait, were you watching me at lunch that day?!"

"i was gonna confess to you then, idiot!"

"i was mad at you for no reason all that time...?" chuckling, seonghwa leaned back in his seat, "funny how life works. i think i've always loved you, chaerim. there's no one like you in this whole entire world."

"yeah, yeah, shut up. i've had enough lovey-doveyness for today," chaerim laughed. but then, she kissed his cheek over the middle console, "but thanks, idiot. i guess there's no one like you either."