𝗚𝗢𝗔𝗟 𖥻! seonghwa

( 17 ) unwanted closure

CHAERIM COULDN'T TELL if she was jealous, sad, relieved, or just hateful. maybe all of the above. but there was one thing she knew for sure, and it was that this encounter didn't make her lose feelings for seonghwa. in fact, she wanted him more now, knowing he was being so nonchalant and cold, but at the same time she was so hurt and confused.

it had officially been two weeks since she last said anything to seonghwa.

yeosang, san, and wooyoung all walked into the locker room together after practice, chatting all the way.

yeosang hummed, "it's weird... i totally thought seonghwa was like madly in love with her."

"i thought so, too. now they just... don't even talk. they don't even fight! i'm confused," san replied, nodding thoughtfully.

wooyoung put out his arm to stop the other two, "shh! they're in there." they all looked at each other, thought for a second, then ran out of the locker room.

"yeah, i'd rather just pick up my stuff tomorrow and go home in my nasty clothes, than go in there and deal with them."

chaerim and seonghwa hadn't even so much as made eye contact for so long over those two weeks. even at practice, when they had to be together, they just totally avoided each other. but now, chaerim was sick of it; she grabbed the sleeve of his jersey. her heart was racing.

she didn't know what she was expecting or what she even wanted. all she knew was she had to break this silence for better or for worse. it was nearly eating her alive, just sitting and wondered what was going on between them.

seonghwa slowly turned around to face her. he crossed his arms, looking down without a glimpse of kindness on his face. she wondered where it all went.

"yes?" he gruffly asked.

she let go of his shirt, feeling disappointed. she just took a step back, lost for words.

he watched her intently, "what do you want?"

"i just..." she then shook her head, "wanted to see if—"

"come on, kim, i don't have all day. did you need something or not?"

god, he was cold. to keep herself from feeling sad, she made herself feel the opposite.

"this is how it's going to be, seonghwa? are you serious? you're so childish. you can't even try to get along with me?" chaerim complained, staring at him with slanted eyes.

he looked her up and down, "whine all you want, kim, but you made a choice. i don't care what you think anymore."

seonghwa then grabbed his things and swiftly left, like he almost was never there at all. chaerim just stood there and blinked, basking in the unwanted closure she just got. she blinked so hard, trying not to... not to...

the tears fell. she couldn't explain why or how seonghwa did this to her. her chest was tight and her face felt hot. she kept trying to wipe away these stupid tears before she could leave the locker room, but they wouldn't stop falling.

at that moment, wooyoung entered the locker room and upon seeing her, he rushed over and grabbed her arms.

"chaerim? what's wrong? what happened?"

she shook her head, "i don't know. i'm stupid."

wooyoung tilted his head, "what? are you hurt, chaerim?"

chaerim just whined, "my heart hurts..."

he then sighed, "oh, chaerim. i don't know what else to do, so i'm just gonna take you to the ice cream parlor, okay? you can talk about it there."

𖥻

another day, another gut-wrenching, frustrating day at soccer practice. chaerim wasn't going to let seonghwa take away from her passion, and he felt the same way. they at least ignored each other completely, but were forced to see each other and just watch from afar.

"good work, everyone. that's it for today," seonghwa clapped his hands together once, ending practice officially for the day.

the rest of the team moseyed on, grabbing their water bottles and changing their cleats and what not. they all began heading over to the locker room. chaerim hadn't been going to the locker room much after practices anymore, not when things were so weird between her and seonghwa because she was so afraid to be caught alone with him.

as she started walking, she checked her backpack's side pocket. wait, that's not right. she checked again, and then one more time before she really confirmed that she lost her keys.

"dammit!"

chaerim jogged over to the benches on the field. nope, nothing there. time to check the locker room...

"hey, has anyone seen a set of keys? there's a cherry keychain on them." chaerim announced into the room. some guys shook their head as she did a scan around the room.

sighing, chaerim went to her locker, and fished around helplessly. she knew they were in there somewhere. she looked around again, and then laid her eyes on them.

yes, finally! except, they were in a very unfortunate place. there they were, in all of their glory, sitting next to park seonghwa's foot in front of his locker as he changed.

fuck, thought chaerim, is this worth it? yes, i have to get into my house somehow! oh god...

she took small baby steps towards him. once he noticed her, he turned to her, though he was still shirtless.

"um, my keys are by your foot."

he looked down, grabbed them, then turned back to his locker as he extended them to her. not one peep from him.

she stood there still, even after she got what she needed. she knew she shouldn't. she didn't know quite what she was doing.

"thanks," she said.

"go away, kim."

she furrowed her brows, "there's no reason to be so rude. just be civil and i'll do the same."

"but i'm trying so hard to hate you," he said, and sighed deeply as he looked down.

a pause.

"why?" her voice was soft, and sweet. it made him want to cave in, though he was fighting every bone in his body not to.

he turned to her and took one more step so they were face to face. they nearly touched, and the tension was magnetizing.

"because," he said in a gruff, low voice, "i can't look at you without wanting you. it sucks. just stay the fuck away from me until i can finally hate you and get over you."

he bumped shoulders with her roughly, as he left the locker room. he said goodbye to the other guys on his way out.

chaerim fiddled with her keys in her hand, then groaned.