Fate's whisper

Trying

Jungkook was standing on the balcony of his hotel room sipping some wine from the glass he was holding. It was late at night. He don't know the time, may be past 2? 3? He don't know.

After all when was the last time he slept peacefully? Five years back?

Most of the nights he simply close his eyes and try to have some sleep. And some of the nights he drinks himself to sleep. But it had been four days he even lied down on his bed. You can tell it by his appearance, with that dark circles around his eyes.

But he don't care anymore. He thought about the elder.

'How many nights he would have spended without sleeping in the past three months?'

The single thought made him want to kill himself. What a jerk he was.

He knows it is not right to act like nothing happened when he met Taehyung before. But there is a reason for that.

He know as soon as he utter the sorry, Taehyung's face morphs into a painful expression as if he was living all those moments again. It feels like he is reminding the elder of the hell. He made him go through. And that made jungkook feel like he is running out of breath.

He also want taehyung to listen to him for once.
He knows. He is an hypocrite for wanting that when he  himself never gave a chance for the elder to explain his side of the story. Not in these three months. Not all those years back.

But that's all a human can do right?

When he read the diary fully , it felt as if his life was pulled out of him. Nothing he did was right.

He was drowning in his guilt. He want to fix everything. But how?

When everyone of us only focuses on one side of the story, we have neglected the feelings of another soul. Of course what jungkook did to taehyung was far worse. But we can't tell jungkook had it all right.

How will you feel when you come to know that the brother of your love interest comes forward and you are in a position of giving him a chance.

How would you feel when you come to know you have to stay away from the man you have been crushing for almost from the high school just because if his brother?

How would you feel when every time you look at the body smile in the man you are dating and get reminded by the same smile in another man who you know you can't get?

How would you feel when your own nudes spread all over the university and you see the video was posted by the one whom you trusted to the core?

How would you feel when you come to know about the death of a man who said who loved you, and was trying to get back relationship out of it?

Of course now he knows that most of them are lie. He was grieving for something which was never true.

Now when he thinks about that,

What if taehyung told about Minjoon to him as friends do?

What if he had  told him that it was not Minjoon and it's rather himself whonhas fucking feelings for him the same day itself?

Everything would have been not how it was today.

But at the same time,

What if he had trusted the elder when he saw him with the teary eyes looking like he just wanted to be heard for once?

What if he had stayed in the hospital when he heard taehyung was alright and woke up?
He was there. Jungkook was outside the elder's room when he got treated that time when he beated him to death. When all his hyungs stopped him by saying taehyung doesn't deserve their presence with him, jungkook went there sitting on the steel chair waiting to know whether he was alright. But as soon as he came to know his is fine, he didn't wait for a second before rushing out of the fuvking building. Only jimin knew jungkook was there all night. Only him.