It was a rainy Tuesday afternoon when I was sitting on a handrail on the bus where there were not many people when I heard a woman sob. She looked to be maybe about thirty years old and was on the phone, talking to someone. At first, I tried to ignore her, but then I overheard a few words:
"Oh....when did she pass away? did you catch her last words? yes, I'm on my way. Thank you."
With this, I assumed that she just got the news that someone passed away. As soon as she hung up her phone she started to cry with her head in her hands. I could tell she was trying to suppress her sobs, to not bother anyone on the bus. An old lady gave her a sour look but the woman wasn't even looking around her. I felt pity and sat on her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. She didn't even bother swatting me away, she just let her feelings out.
After what seemed like five minutes she looked up again, now her mascara smudged and her eyes red and puffy. But she wasn't crying.
She then took out her phone from her brown, leather handbag and started looking through a few photos. I flew to sit on her shoulder for a closer look.
It was all pictures of her and another, older woman. Some of the pictures were of them alone, while some contained other people. But all the pictures had the two women.
At this point, tears fell down from her face again but she didn't wipe them away this time. She just continued looking at the pictures. She had a smile on her face, albeit a sad one.
A few minutes later, when she reportedly decided she had enough of looking at the same photos over and over again, she took out a piece of paper and a pen from her bag and started to write something.
This intrigued me, and so I watched on to see what she was going to do next.
She started writing something along these lines:
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Dear Omma,
How are you feeling? Are you eating enough? You told me you didn't like the hospital food so I hope you're eating better now. Are you getting enough rest? I'm sorry I didn't visit you earlier. I was a coward and couldn't bear the thought of seeing you like this. I'm writing this letter to tell you all the things I couldn't.
I am going to therapy just like you advised me to and it's been going well. I've had to think long and hard about things I didn't want to but my therapist told me it's good for me. She also advised me to pick up a new hobby, so I'm gardening a lot recently.
I had to beg my landlord to let me use the back of the apartment but it is so worth it. Remember when I was a kid and you would tell me all about your plants? You would know everything about them. How to care for each of them and everything. I would never listen to you and I would instead just look at all the birds that used to come to your garden. But now, I wish I listened to you. I could never get my pea plants to live no matter what I do. My garden's a pretty good size now and I have a few plants, but definitely not as much as you had.
Even the kids from the apartment are helping out a bit in the garden, though they mostly just put out water and seeds for the birds.
Even Argot loves the garden and the birds. Funny story- the other day we had a pretty nasty fight and she just stormed off. At first I didn't care but then I started getting worried an hour later. I mean who would want their seven month pregnant wife to just wander outside, right? I frantically searched for her everywhere until I found her in the garden watering the plants and talking to the birds. When she saw me the first thing she was scold me for not watering a plant enough.
The pregnancy's been tough on her. I've tried to be as helpful as I could but she's still suffering a lot. Since you told me how you had a rough pregnancy with me and Argot's also been having a rough pregnancy, do you think the baby's going to turn out like me? I'm joking obviously.
Argot's into baking at the moment and im glad she has a distraction and the thing is, she eats everything she bakes. Like she'll bake a batch of cookies and she'll devour them as soon as they're out of the oven. It's not like I'm complaining though, she's eating for two people after all.
Even though we've been reading a lot of parenting books and preparing a lot for this baby, it still seems so surreal that we've made a whole human being. (I mean I know it's not wholly a 'we' situation since we've had a sperm donor and and everything that but still) I'm excited to see what motherhood will bring us. I hope I could be as half an amazing mother as you were to me. Anyway, Omma, my stop has come and I'm getting off. Goodbye for now.
- yeong-wonhi dangsin-ui ttal
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I didn't realise her stop had come until she wrote it. Clearly, she was paying attention to her surroundings, at least more than I was. I got up from her shoulder as the bus came to a halt.
She got up from her seat, letter still in hand, and walked out of the bus and it seemed like a weight was off her shoulders.
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YOU ARE READING
Tales from a fly
Storie breviA woman writing a letter to her deceased mother, A boy finding comfort and company in his friend, An old noodles shop owner having the threat of his shop getting sold due to issues with money, A pop star reminiscing about her life, and regretting he...
