Cruel World - Thomas Shelby

You've got a harbour close to the shore

The Shelby's did not seem bothered by my presence and got on with their routine as normal.

Most of the time I spent with Ada, who showed me her small collection of dolls (one terrifying-looking one she got for her ninth birthday, and a china one that had been passed down by her mother) and each of their extensive back stories.

When at last the family sat down to eat, they didn't mind their manners, something I appreciated. I noted how starkly different my own family was. The stale quiet, and empty conversations had been replaced by laughter, whispered swears and humoured scolds.

I made sure to sit myself next the young girl, at the end, to ensure that none of the boys would be to close to me, as I came to enjoy Ada's company far more.

The sibling's mother hadn't joined us I noticed but decided not to acknowledge it.

'I said to him, I said "if you do that again, these windows won't be the only thing I bash in"' Arthur had begun telling us a story through wheezing laughter, 'and d'ya know what he said- what did he say John?' 

He spoke breathlessly, between laughs.

'I don't remember.' His brother responded sullenly after contemplating a moment.

Arthur stopped smiling, scoffing instead, and gave John a whack on his head.

'He said,' he spoke pointedly, leaning in and hunching over the table.

Ada, and the youngest of the family, Finn, both staring at their brother, hanging onto his words.

He was quiet a moment longer, and I even saw Polly's face hardened with intrigue.

'What bloody windows?' Arthur's voice exploded, his hands banging on the table as he laughed.

As Ada, and all her brothers, and their Aunt Polly erupted into loud, hearty laughs, I couldn't help but to do so as well. My cheeks quickly began aching, but the pain didn't seem to significant compared to the unfamiliar joy I felt.

I leant back in my chair whilst the last tendrils of my laughter rose up through my throat and everyone slowly started quieting down.

'God, Eleanor,' Polly said, her cheeks still red from smiling  'you must think us all insane, the stories you've heard tonight.'

'Oh, not at all.' I said loudly, grinning.

Eventually, the table had been cleared of dishes, but, still, we remained circled around it. The room was warm, lit mostly by bright, lively candles, and filled by the noise of chatter, and Polly washing dishes (we all offered our help, but she refused). Whilst the boys conversed between themselves, I had begun telling Ada about my family: my brother, who lived in New York but visited often, and my two sister's and their hideous husbands. I spoke nothing of my parents.

Finn had turned to listen to me as well, my borrowed stories of America catching his attention. It was only after us three had taken turns speaking in shitty, pretend American accents that the darkness outside the window caught my attention. It was uncertain whether my absence would be noticed at home it was unusual for anyone to check in on me, but not impossible.

A sigh left my mouth with the realisation that I would have to leave. My house and its quiet emptiness had seemed so distant, that, for a moment, I almost forgot I would have to return.

I interrupted sullenly, despite my quiet wishes to stay longer, and announced that I had to go.

The sky outside was dark, angry; hurling lashes of rain and growling with thunder. Tommy had offered to walk me back, and I quickly decided that I didn't want to walk alone when it was so dark out. Besides, the house had felt so warm, and I thought that perhaps his prescience besides me would feel the same. Unfortunately, I was not so lucky, ending the short walk with water running down my back and into my boots. The smacking of rain on the cobbled street barely gave us room for a hurried goodbye.