Smile for the picture | Pablo Gavi

24) The breakdown

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"I hope we don't run into Ansu." Luna hadn't said anything about it yet, but I could already feel the mood in the air. We are on our way to the stadium together in the rental car. 

"Well... we're going to one of his games." I say as I touch up my lipstick in the car mirror. Luna nervously brushes her hair from her face. 

"I just want to avoid the awkward conversation..." a few weeks ago, Luna left Ansu on read. The conversation ended there a bit and since then Luna has been reluctant to bump into him. "I'm sure it won't be very awkward if you behave somewhat normally," I answer. Luna sighs and shakes her head. 

"You know how bad I am at that. I can't even talk to him normally when I do really like him...' Luna says and she abruptly breaks in front of a cat braking across the road. "I'm sure it'll be okay... it can't get any worse than what happened between me and Pablo." I mumble. 

'What happened then? You still haven't told me.' As much as I would like to tell Luna, I just can't. This is Pablo's private matter and not for me to tell Luna. "Just disagreements," I say. Luna raises her eyebrows, breaking again, but this time because we arrived. 

I quickly get up to avoid further questions and get out of the car. It's late October and it's colder than I expected. It's already dark outside and a cloud comes out of my mouth. I pull my cardigan a little higher on my neck to keep my body from being cold. I should've brought a jacket...

I slam the car door and we walk together to the entrance of the stadium. I feel like shit, total shit. I just wanna lay in my bed, instead of coming here listening to what Pablo has to say. And it's not even just him... I just feel like my life is slowly falling apart and I can't figure out why I feel like that. 

I haven't been to Camp Nou for a long time, but it is incredibly busy now. People are standing everywhere at entrances to get into the stadium. Me and Luna join the back of the line so we can slowly get to the entrance. 

I turn back to Luna. She sighs and shuffles restlessly with her feet. 'Who are they playing against anyway?' she asks. 'No idea.' I say and I look around but all I see are FC Barcelona shirts. Luna starts to rock back and forth, back and forth slowly. It drives me a little crazy... can't she stop moving? 

'Look, if we see Ansu and Pablo, we just have to keep calm... you know? Just small talk, the weather... what was the weather like today again? We can talk about that, right...'
'Luna.' Luna seems to be waking up from some kind of trans.
'What?'
"Stop moving and stop talking." I know I sound catty, but I just can't handle all the stimuli. 

I don't know what Pablo wants to talk about, I don't know what I'm doing here and I want to just sleep. And most importantly... I still want to know who the girl was, who ended up getting pregnant. And whether Pablo is a father... too many questions and 0 answers. It's slowly eating away my brain and it's been feeling like there's a ticking time bomb in my stomach all day. 

Tick ​​tock...tick tock...tick tock...a few more words and it will go off. 

Luna presses her lips together and stands still. There is a silence and all I hear is the fanatical football supporters singing, a little boy screaming enthusiastically, an old man stumbling through the crowd, a pregnant woman screaming at him, three young teenage girls bickering, Luna's phone with a Tiktok sound, two Chinese tourists who have no idea what they are doing, a drunk man shouting for a beer, a girl who falls and has a scrape on her knee, tick tock tick tock tick tock tick Tock. It's driving me nuts.

Then my phone starts ringing. It's my mom. I decline the call and put my cold hands back in my pockets, but my phone rings again. 'Aren't you gonna take the call?' Luna asks. I shake my head. 'I'll call her later.' something is wrong. My stomach can feel something is off. I feel like someone's watching me and I turn around. Only to see the crowd full of people. My phone rings again and I roll my eyes.