The Healer

14

Caspian's POV

"Oh Caspian, you're so naive that it almost hurts me to know you're going to break after what you see." Dexter mocks, grinning like a cheshire cat.

I freeze.

This was one of the rare times where Dexter found me alone, away from the rest of the team. Arion, Orson and Drax were in our living quarters while I had just came out of my garden.

It has been a few days after Knox poured his heart out to me. While there has been improvements in our relationship after the strains, Lily stays in the picture. Knox has also been spending much more time with her, supposedly trying to "figure out who she really is".

I couldn't quite shake off the jealousy, for now I knew that she could be Knox's first love. What if she really was Lilian? Would Knox choose her?

"Don't think too much, fairy. Just break. Break and leave." Was all Dexter says before he grabs me by the wrist and drags me somewhere.

For some reason, I didn't find myself resisting. I just followed. 

When we stood by an meeting room door, I looked at him confused. "Why'd you bring me here?"

He smirks, "people lie and people leave. You can never win a first love."

He pushes the door open and I freeze at what I saw.

Clothes were thrown all over the meeting room, they were sitting on my chair, my spot. No, Knox sat on my seat, Lily sat on top of him.

She was bouncing, on what, you should know. The meeting room was filled with her moans and Knox's grunts.

Even I've never been in that position before.

He has never touched me like that before.

My feet stay rooted to the ground as I watch his hands explore her body. They must've not heard me enter. Staring at them made me realise one thing, that I was replaceable.

I was angry, yes. Disappointed? Definitely. But deep down I had to admit to myself that Knox was never really mine in the first place.

Suddenly, I felt disgusting and disgusted.

How could I have let him touch my body when his heart was never really mine? Was he thinking about her when he had his hands all over me? Am I a whore?

The whole scene felt like it was moving in slow motion. Knox's eyes widens when he sees me at the door. I watch as Lily moans as her fingers cup Knox's cheeks, pulling his attention back to the woman he was fucking.

I felt my knees go weak, and it took everything in me not to just crumble.

I didn't realise how hard I have been clenching my fist until I felt my nails draw blood from my palms.

I turn around, only to face a smirking Dexter. "Enjoy what you see?"

I offer him a small fake smile.

"Did you think I'd care?" I lied.

He grits his teeth before he scoffs. "Right. A slut like you wouldn't care if your partner was out fucking another bitch when you're fucking multiple yourself."

I sucked in a breath.

"Honestly, what are you even trying to achieve from showing me this?" I laughed, a coping mechanism perhaps, because nothing about this was even remotely funny.

Dexter rolls his eyes, "I want you out."

"Out of what?"

"Out of Team A."

"Why?" I ask.

"You don't deserve it as much as I do."

I laugh again. "And this will make me leave because..?"

"Are you stupid? Because you're broken. I broke you. Knox broke you."

I laugh at how ridiculous he sounds and offer him another fake smile. "I'm a slut, remember? If you think this is going to make me leave, try harder next time."

I walk away.

Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't.

The tears spilled.

I found myself back in my garden.

Something about HawHaw looked different. It looked... dead. Lifeless. As if it's just existing for the sake of existing.

I felt numb, no more tears, no anger. Just.. numb.

I sat by the small waterfall and stare as the water rippled around the pond.

I just stare and stare and stare.

I have no idea how many hours had gone by, but by the time I was back at the suite, everyone had gone back in their rooms. Knox was probably with her still.

I really did not want to see Knox, or anyone for that matter. I wanted to be alone.

So I walked towards my room. As I was passing by Arion's room, I noticed that the door was slightly open.

I didn't mean to peek but I could see what was happening in my peripheral vision. Arion and Drax was having an intense make out session.

I was happy that they finally realise how much they love each other but I couldn't help but overthink about how I was now cast aside by everyone.

I decided that I didn't want to stay here tonight so I quietly made my way out of the suite. I found myself in my garden again.

I hated the atmosphere of the now gloomy garden. It was making me even more depressed.

I left.

I shifted into fairy form and left.

I let myself fly free, away from the organisation building. I looked for a lush forest, any forest and sat by a huge tree. I leaned against the trunk and stared up and the night sky.

The tears that I had held in all fell down.

I cried and cried until my throat and head hurt. I cried until my eyes swell. I cried until I started shaking.

I cried until I fell asleep, crying, again.