Defenders: The Fighters of 13. Pt 1

Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Jem's POV

After Finn's birthday, a lot changed. The council had a vote the day after the party, deeming me fit to begin training again, under the condition that it was in a private training room, with strict supervision, and under no circumstances were Meg, Finn, or Collin allowed to join me. I was even given a new communicator, with mid-level security clearance, to access the private training areas. Cyria has been my primary trainer for the last few weeks, working on building back the muscle I lost while in captivity. It's so much harder than I remember. Before, training with the team was like a game. Now, training alone, after all this time, it feels like when I first started as a rebel. I couldn't do sit ups; push ups were impossible, and who the hell can even do burpees without getting a stitch. But Cyria is determined to get me back to where I was, or at least strong enough to be with a team again. He doesn't go easy on me, and I appreciate that.

Although starting back training isn't the only thing that's changing. Last night the council made another vote regarding what to do with me. I could only be kept at the hospital for so long, and with so many coming back injured from the front lines, they need as many available rooms as possible. It was decided that I would be moved into a compartment, but not on my own. They still want me monitored and keeping to my routines. I don't know who they've chosen for me to room with, or if it's even someone I know. I pace in my room, my hair still wet from the shower I took after morning training. The string in my hands rubbing uncomfortably as I try to focus my attention on a new knot. I just need to keep my mind off of this. I can't let myself get too anxious or they won't think I'm ready. Am I ready?

Physically, yes, I'm ready. What little things I have are packed in a case Effie passed along to me. Peeta's painting is carefully wrapped to go with me too. But am I mentally ready? Am I really stable enough to leave? What if the person they pair me with isn't someone I know? What if it is someone I know and I freak out on them? What if it's Finn? No they wouldn't room me with him, they don't allow co-ed compartments unless it's family or spouses. What if I do freak out again and hurt the person they room me with? I'll be either locked back up in the hospital or even locked down in the Cell. I know there are a few doctors who don't like me much. Apparently I hurt a few with some of my episodes. I don't think Katniss likes me either, I know I stress her out, and Peeta has been spending less time with me now that I'm training again. I flinch as the tightened string in my hand snaps against my fingers. Deep breaths Jem. It'll be okay. Peeta said it would all be okay.

A knock on the door pulls me from my thoughts. It must be someone from the council to tell me where I'll be going. I stand at the end of the bed, now just spinning the broken string between my fingers. "Come in."

The door opens and to my surprise, Jace rushes in, launching himself onto my bed, "Jemberly!!"

I snort at the made up name, and through the door comes Meg, Finn, and Collin. "Hey. I wasn't expecting to see you guys."

"Yeah, well...we've been sent with some news." Finn says, taking a seat in the chair by the door. For a moment I'm reminded of Karter, how he would sit in the room and watch me..I shake the memory from my mind. It's not Kater. It's Dath. I mean Finn. He won't hurt me.

"Sent isn't the word I'd use." Collin says quietly from Meg's side, and I can see her embarrassed smirk.

"I may have been caught eavesdropping on the council meeting..." Meg says sheepishly.

I feel my heart drop to my gut. Did they change their mind about me? Am I going to be stuck forever? Have I not proven that I'm stable enough for this? As much as I want answers to all this, I choke out instead, "What did you hear?"