The Cut that Always Bleeds - Byler

.12

will didn't show up to school the next day, which i understood why. as i sat in class, i kept feeling like there were people staring at me. it wasn't until i turned around that i realized it was max glaring at me.
this whole thing with will i was just trying to move on from. i know i really hurt him but if he won't let me talk to him then there's nothing i can do. i just want to move on with el. my girlfriend.

el ran up to me in the hallway as i was walking to hold my hand.
-"hey, how was the spanish test?" i asked, knowing she just came from there.
-"wasn't too bad. thanks for helping me study." she rested her head on my shoulder.
i smiled, feeling the warmth of her body touching mine. as i was walking with her, i passed by max in the hallway. when she noticed i was looking back at her she quickly looked away and left her locker. every time i look at max, i think of him. i don't want to think about him. i want to simply move on and be happy with my el.
was that so hard to ask for?

...

after school ended, el and i decided to go out again for the first time since our short break apart. we didn't go anywhere public, we just went to the park. we always used to go to the park together to talk. it was always her favorite place.

we walked down the gravel path from my car to the park. she held my arm and her head laid against my shoulder as we walked.
-"i missed this place." she sighed as we walked towards the playground.

we sat at the swing set, talking about random things and watching the sun go down. eventually it was dark and the only thing illuminating the park was the full moon and the faint street lights. i stood up and convinced el to go on the merry-go-round.
she took my hand and we walked up to it.
-"oh God, what if i fall?" she giggled, stepping on it.
-" i won't let you fall." i assured her as i began spinning it around.
her screams and laughter made my stomach flutter. i jumped on as it was still spinning and held her to make sure she wouldn't fall.
-"you're gonna make us fall!" she giggled even louder as my arms were wrapped around her waist from behind her.
i acted like i was gonna shove her off, making her scream. i laughed as she turned around and slightly shoved my chest, making me fall backwards off and on the ground. she quickly jumped off, still laughing.
-"are you okay?" she giggled, seeing i was still laughing as well.
-"yeah." i laughed while standing up and taking her hand again.

she guided me up the stairs to the slide after cleaning the mulch off of me. we stood at the highest level and looked out at the edge.
-"the stars are so pretty." she admired while looking up at the sky.
i looked down from the sky to look at her. the moonlight lit her up, making her eyes sparkle.
-"not as pretty as you."
she looked back at me and then giggled.
-"what's so funny?"
-"that was really cheesy." she laughed.
i felt a smile spread across my face before slightly leaning in to kiss her. we stood there for moments before i dove down the slide while dramatically screaming and made her laugh again.
i stood at the end of the slide, holding my arms out.
-"come down, i'll catch you."
-"no, you're gonna move out of the way last minute!" she whined.
-"i promise i'll catch you!" i chuckled.
she sat down at the top of the slide and hesitated to slide down.
-"c'mon!"
she slid down, laughing the whole way until she reached my arms.
-"you alright?" i laughed.
-"yeah." she smiled, before realizing how close our faces were.
she leaned in and kissed me once again, running her fingers through my hair. the kiss brought back so much for me. it felt just like it did before, but better.
i couldn't help but think i was so in love with her.
she was so perfect in every way.
how could i not be in love her?
she's a superhero.

we made the way back to my car after a while, but we didn't want to leave. we sat in the front seats of my car, making out to the music that played on the radio. as the first song ended and the next one played, i felt a different feeling in my stomach. not a good feeling either. els favorite song, Africa was playing. and suddenly i felt a memory coming back to me.

I set up the record player and lowered the tone arm at the outer rim of the record until Africa started playing. Els favorite song. i walked towards Will who was now sitting on the couch, looking at something. it was the drawings i kept of his.
-"oh, you found those." i chuckled.
-"yeah.. i can't believe you kept them." Will shook his head, looking me in the eyes.
-"of course i did." i smiled before leaning in again and kissing him.
he placed the folder down onto the coffee table i slowly pushed him against the couch with my lips."

-"mike?"
i didn't even realize el stopped kissing me until i snapped back into reality. i had completely zoned out.
-"is everything okay?" she asked looking concerned.
-"yeah. yeah sorry." i muttered, and kissed her again with a small smile on my face.

why am i thinking about Will? especially with el right in front of me. I like think of Will as just friends. or at least old friends. that whole thing that happened was a mistake. kissing him was a mistake.
now it's over.. and everything is back to normal.

i just wish i had my best friend.