𝗔𝗹𝗲𝘅𝗶𝘁𝗵𝘆𝗺𝗶𝗮 - TMR AU, Minho.

16 - 𝘋𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘴

⚠️self-harm and mentions of sexual abuse!!
Take care and ask for help if you struggle with this<3

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I wish I could hide under the blanket as I did when I was still a little kid.

I wish I could forget his face after everything he saw. Instead, he was still standing in the doorframe, his eyes pierced on my wrists.

I couldn't tell what his expression meant. I couldn't tell if he was disgusted, worried, or angry.
As I said, he was hard to read.

Suddenly he was in my room, door closed and locked behind him.

"Newt.." he was still staring at my wrist. "he might.. walk in if it's unlocked." He was almost whispering.

Did he see me as a monster now? A weak girl who can not even handle problems without hurting herself?

I watched him as he went into my bathroom with quick steps.

He doesn't even want to look at me.
Of course he doesn't.

In a minute he came back into my room with med kit, telling me to sit down on my bed.

He kneeled in front of me, still not daring to look at my face.

"Can I?" He asked without looking at me.

"Yeah." My voice was shaky, like my breath and well, everything.

He rolled up my sleeve, revealing damaged skin. I closed my eyes as hard as I could, like it would make my cuts disappear.

I was trying to not scream from a burning feeling on my wrist.
I bit my lip until I tasted blood.

He didn't talk. Just disinfected my cuts, then covered them up with bandages. However, he didn't let go of my wrist for a while until I pulled it away.

Tears were burning my cheeks and I couldn't stop them.

Why wasn't he looking?
Did he hate me that much now?

"Why?" He whispered.

I couldn't answer.
Maybe because I was ashamed, or maybe because I didn't know the reason either.

"Is it because of him?"

Then he looked up. His eyes were glossy, his lips trembling.

"What?"

"I know you were.." he swallowed. "Assaulted."

I felt a sharp pain in my chest.

He knew.
He knew.

"I found out after that night in a bar. When you confronted me for leaving."

"Oh."

Did he think it was one time?
Or did he know everything?

"Why did you.."

"You knew." I cut him off.

"I'm sorry Mils." It was the first time I had seen Minho crying. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you. I'm sorry I was stupid enough to believe that you cheated on me-" What?

"Wait." I got up. "You believed what?"

"I'm sorry." He got up too.

Guess we're standing now.

"Tell me everything." I wouldn't just be mad without knowing everything. "Every detail."

"I don't think it's the right time for that."

"For how long will I have to wait then? Another two years?!" I raised my voice, but the next words came out as a whisper. "Please Minho."

"I wasn't planning on taking the scholarship you know?" He started. "I didn't want to leave you. But the night before I left, I got messages from an unknown number."

He stopped for a second.

"There were pictures, Mila. Bad ones."

"Oh." I sat down again.

"It made me furious.
so I thought, the only way to make you feel what I felt, was to leave you."

It felt like a knife was stabbing my heart.

"I was raped the night you left." I blurted out.

Okay, there's no way to take that back now.

"Wait. It wasn't just one time?"

"He drugged me, then drove until we were in the middle of nowhere." I ignored his question. "He got what he wanted, then left me there."

"Oh."

"I was calling you, because I couldn't call Newt as he was still going trough.. well.. therapy." My voice cracked. "You didn't answer. Then you turned off your phone."

I looked up at Minho.
He was crying.

I couldn't stop now. He needed to know at least whatever happened that night.
Nothing more.

"I walked for three hours." I looked down. "I snuck into my room through the window, fixed my appearance, then went back outside. I was walking around the whole night."

I choked on my tears but continued. "Then I went home like nothing happened. I told Newt I stayed with Teresa."

"Why didn't you tell him?"

"I told you, he was already struggling. It would be selfish."

"Mila it would be anything but selfish!" I could feel his hands on my shaky legs. "Did you tell anybody?"

"No."

Suddenly, I felt His arms wrapped around me, pulling me into a tight embrace.
I could feel his heart pounding against my chest, the warmth of his body contrasting with the cold emptiness inside me.
His tears mingled with mine, his desperation seeping into my bones.

"I'm sorry," he cried out. "I'm so, so sorry." He held me tighter, one hand stroking my hair and the other one, trailing on my back.

I could feel the full weight of his desperation. and maybe love.
But deep down, I knew it wasn't enough to pull me from this abyss.

The darkness had already taken root, and no matter how tight he held on, I was still slipping away.

It feels kinda rushed but she didn't say everything soo

Anyway. Take care!☆