Letters of Loath

E: The Lake

I watch the empty ceiling as I think about today. Shadows made from the branches outside my window dance as they project grey figures across the white walls. I know my friends aren't going to stop bothering me tomorrow. They won't understand it, and they probably never will. My shirt still smells slightly of salt and the scene of her small figure enclosed in my grip keeps replaying over and over in my head. I watch my memories, her sleeping body in my arms as I carried her up to bed.

I wonder if she still hates me. She didn't seem to today, she smiled at me. I hadn't realised how much I'd missed her grin. God I love the shallow dimples on her cheeks. I love her laugh. I love the way she whispers my name like it's a secret. I let my brain list off hundreds of things until I drift off into peaceful sleep.

I was probably just tired. Right? Those thoughts don't really mean anything. Right? Before I can analyse myself too deeply dad storms into my room, shoves the curtains open, mutters 'get up, school' and slams my door on the way out. His usual routine. I pull myself out of the cosy bed and get dressed, excited about seeing her at school. I long for her eyes to lock onto mine instead of avoiding my gaze. I long to see the green streaks weaved into the hazel of her irises. I get my wish almost immediately as I climb out of my car at school. She's stood a few mere meters away, talking to Lydia's brother. He passes her a book and I feel my eyes flick between them, some strange feeling welling up inside of me. It sort of feels like fear, or is it worry? Then it dawns on me, I'm jealous. How am I jealous? I've never felt it so strongly before. But why am I jealous?

Then she finally looks at me, our eyes catching, held together by an invisible force. I can't look away, but she can't either. I watch as her lips curve upwards into a soft smile, I return her one of my own. We stay like this, almost as still as statues, until I'm barged into my Lyo and bombarded with questions. When I look back in her direction she's walking inside, her back turned to me.

"So what was all the commotion about yesterday?" He asks.
"Were you the one who gave Theo a black eye?" Dario continues.
"None of your business," I pause and then turn towards Dario, " and yes." I reply before walking past them, heading inside, desperate to see her again. I can't find her anywhere, so I head to English, slightly defeated. I'm being weird. Just because she might not hate me, doesn't mean that we're friends. I should leave her alone, if she wants to talk to me then she will. 

Two weeks pass by in a flurry of stolen glances, fleeting smiles and kind letters. My letter is first as I reply to her previous one.

Hi stranger,
I know I'm charming, it's a special talent of mine. I don't suppose you have one? I think that's great advice, I've been doing it quite a lot lately, I just need to find a new friend now. Know anyone up for the job? I couldn't possibly know you're secret identity, that would just defeat the point of secret, wouldn't it? I'll deal with it, but only if you stop calling me ego boy, I much prefer charming stranger. I think the first line should be 'Pen and paper separated the star-crossed lovers'. How does that sound for a love song? I don't doubt your talent, but no one is unbeatable. How about a rematch?
Yours truly - charming stranger

Hey Stranger,
How about we settle on just Stranger, Charming Stranger is a bit of a mouthful. I have many talents thank you very much, one of them being writing amazing songs, though I will admit that line is swoon-worthy. I'd be up for the job of friend, if that's alright with you? I've got quite a good resume. I think winning once is enough for me, wouldn't want to damage your ego any further would we? 
Do you believe in soulmates? I never really have before, mostly because my mother never did, but I don't know anymore.
Kind regards - Stranger

Hello stranger,
I think I can survive being just 'Stranger', but you owe me now. I'm glad that you think my line is 'swoon-worthy', good flirting tactic. I'd love to be your friend, I'm sure your resume is impeccable, from what I've seen so far you're the best friend out there. I'm sure my ego is big enough to suffer a few more blows, but I'd prefer for it not too, how would I be charming without it? 
I've never really thought that much about soulmates, I guess I do, but I'm not sure if I've met them yet. It's a nice thought to have, being with someone perfect for you, made for you even. What's making you change your mind about it recently?
Best wishes - stranger