Letters of Loath

R: Seven minutes

I stare in shock at the bottle in front of me. I dare not look up at him. What am I supposed to do? What can I do? A dare is a dare. There's no denying it. I feel Paige's arms pull me to my feet and drag me towards a small cupboard. I'm pushed in first. The cupboard is filled with board games and toys, stacked on shelves that reach from the floor to the ceiling.

I feel his large body get pushed in beside me and the door is shut, plunging us into darkness. His bare chest is pressed up against mine, only the thin fabric of my top between us, there's barely space to breathe in here. Only seven minutes, I can survive it. Elio obviously feels my heart beating tenfold and quietly whispers,
"Are you okay?"
"I think so, it's only seven minutes right? We can do that." I reply, trying to slow down my racing heart. I'm not claustrophobic, I don't know why it's beating so fast, and I don't know why it's so hard to breathe.
"Yeah," He mutters and I realise that his heartbeat matches mine. I hear a song come on the speaker outside - I'm not in love - 10cc. I desperately try and distract myself. Of all songs right now.
"So what should we talk about?" I say, trying to lighten the situation. Trying to divert my attention from the non-existent space in between us. He chuckles lightly and I feel his chest convulse against mine, sending shivers up my spine as my breath catches.

"I'm not sure. What do you want to talk about?" He looks down at me and I see a glint of blue through the blackness. 
"I don't know, what do friends talk about?" I feel his heartrate increase and he mutters out,
"We're friends?" His voice is almost hopeful, or happy; I feel my walls crumble and fall at his will.
"Yeah," I smile, even though he can't see it through the void of darkness.
"Friends." I whisper, I can feel his warm breath on my face, I know his lips are just inches away from mine. I can barely breathe as he leans downwards, inching closer at a heart-stoppingly slow pace.
"Friends." He whispers back. I tilt my head upwards, I'm not sure why.

 Why do I want this? Why can't I stop myself from falling in closer? I hate this guy, or at least I thought I did. Our lips are millimetres away from one another, his hand is on my neck, my hand is placed lightly on his chest. I feel his thumb trail across my cheek and stop when he reaches my lips, his gentle hand cupping my face. His breath is short and quick as he leans in closer, guiding his lips towards mine using the navigation of his hand. I feel my eyes close, even though I could see nothing before anyway. I feel his bottom lip barely graze mine before he jumps back, his hand pulling away from my face. My lip tingles from the slight touch of his, and the absence of it.

I'm suddenly blinded by bright light streaming through the open door. Nico is stood there, frowning. 
"Seven minutes up." He mutters before spinning on his heel and returning to the other room. I stare up at Elio, the light shining into his blue eyes as he watches my expressions change from confusion to shock, and then back to confusion. I see his throat bob as he swallows deeply, unable to remove his eyes from mine. 
"I-," He starts to say something, but stops himself. Why does he always have to act like this? Why can't he just say what he's thinking? What's stopping him? I sober up quickly, feeling the familiar burn of anger, and I push myself out of the cupboard, returning to the game. He follows behind me silently.

The bottle spins a few more times before it lands on Elio once more.
"So what happened in the cupboard?" Lyo asks as Elio chooses truth. He pauses, debating what to say as I stare at his frown.
"Nothing, we just talked." He replies and I feel my heart drop a little, why do I feel so gutted?
"Okay then." Lyo seems disappointed as well, but more from the lack of drama. 
"I'm bored, lets play spin the bottle, but for real." He continues and everyone agrees. I really don't want to. My first kiss can't be over a stupid spin the bottle game. I won't let it.

"I feel a bit sick, I think I'll sit this one out." I say and sit next to Cyrus on the sofa as he reads a book. I watch as they spin the bottle, kissing one another. Then it's Elio's turn, how can he do this? How can he almost kiss me in the cupboard and just agree to kiss some random person, chosen by a stupid beer bottle. It spins, I will it to never stop, but it lands on a girl with long blonde hair and stunning features. Why does it have to be Paige? She leans in over the circle, he pauses for a moment. I allow hope to swell up inside me before it's quickly stomped down by him tilting in towards her. They quickly peck, but it still feels like some sort of betrayal. Almost like treason. I hate the all-too-familiar feeling welling up inside of me as I hold back salty tears.